Further adventures in showbusiness

She has previously reported on her exploits in Bollywood and Hollywood. Now British actor Rachel Shelley is playing a lesbian ice maiden in the hit US sitcom The L Word. This is her diary

Dragging myself out of bed early that Saturday morning wasn't easy. But even if this was the ump-teenth unsuccessful audition I was about to put myself on tape for, to send to the US, I'm a conscientious actor and I had to catch the afternoon FedEx.

I scrubbed at my face, de-knotted the worst tangles of bed-head, put on last night's clothes and stumbled off to pretend to be Helena Peabody, the new season regular on the hugely successful and controversial Showtime series about lesbians in LA, The L Word.

Helena Peabody: "Late 20s to early 30s, no makeup. Katharine Hepburn style by way of $5,000 worth of man-styled couture. Relaxed, with a supremely enfranchised bearing, stunningly beautiful. A bare suggestion of earthy butch equanimity. Unselfconsciously sensuous, with a killer smile ... Gorgeous and icy, we're struck by her presence and beauty. Every move and exchange only serves to underscore Helena's power."

It's going to be a doddle. We must have been lucky with the lighting that morning, because a week later I'm blearily abluting again, this time before bed, when the phone rings. It can only be LA calling at this hollow hour. My manager chirps: "We're setting up a conference call with your agent ..." This always indicates something of magnitude and strikes fear deep into my thespian parts. Turns out they're flying me over to LA in three days to meet the producers and do a final round of screen tests for the role of Helena. Contract negotiations are already underway. Oh, and if I get the job, I won't be coming home for four months. So pack accordingly. "Have you ever been to Vancouver before? It'll be a home from home - it rains a lot there too."

Vancouver? Not Hollywood?

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