By BetteAndTinaForever

B&TF: If you could change one thing about yourself what would that be?

Anne Ramsay: If I could change one thing…just one? (laughing) I wish I would clean my house more. I wish I was less messy. I know that’s a crazy thing to change but it has been a lifelong problem to just throw my clothes on the floor.

B&TF: Is it because you don’t really care how it looks or you jut don’t have the time?

AR: There are different reasons why I do it so I wish it was eradicated from my repertoire; the messiness, the cluttering – sort of not taking care of my house, cause in a way it’s almost like not taking care of myself, do you know what I mean?

B&TF: Yeah, exactly.

AR: And I am getting better at it. You know, I want it to happen yesterday. I want it to happen now. It’s baby steps and it’s progress. So I have made progress for sure in that area.

B&TF: Well, sometimes I have the same kind of problem. I work, have a full time job, then I have this as a hobby and I write articles. I go home and I’m on the internet all night. One day I wake up and there’s dust everywhere!

AR: Exactly…

B&TF: So, what can you tell me about you personally that we don’t know? Something special about you.

AR: I sing. That was my first love, is singing.

B&TF: I think you mentioned it at the convention in LA but you didn’t sing when I asked you.

AR: Yes, Yes! And I need a lot of down time, alone time. As gregarious as I am, I also need time to recharge. That’s really important to me in my life.

B&TF: What do you do to recharge?

AR: Running or the internet. Whatever I do on the internet, don’t even ask me. I don’t know how I spend so much time on the internet but it’s very calming and relaxing to me.

B&TF: So you’re just basically browsing?

AR: I guess so. Yeah, news. I get a lot of news. So, it’s kind of good.

B&TF: I know you were already asked during Q&A about your favorite scene on The L Word which you said was the break-up with Jenny but what was the funniest, craziest scene you’ve done?

AR: You know I wanted to do some funny stuff because I like to improv little funny lines because they just come naturally to me for some reason. I guess all my years on Mad About You help me. There was a line where Jenny’s in there dating that guy and dating me and we’re all in her house. And we’re all just kind of standing there and there’s a moment, a pause, and I wanted to improv the line, “So, Gene, where you from?” But I thought it was a little too comedic so I didn’t do it. But I regret not doing that because I think it would have been funny!

B&TF: Or you could have said, “Are you up for a three-some?”

AR: Yeah, that would have been more the obvious statement. You know how you…well, at least I do in real life, if a situation’s tense, I usually use comedy to break the tension?

B&TF: Oh, yeah. I love that.

AR: I always do that. It works in my life and that’s what I wanted to do in that situation. And so, I regret not doing that in that scene and also, for a long time on Mad About You, I was sort of type cast as the comedic, quirky actress and I was working, at that point when I first got on The L Word towards reminding people that I’m a dramatic actress as well. So, my default is always to go to comedy but I was trying to stay in the dramatic realm. So, I don’t know if I actually answered your question.

B&TF: You did. We were talking about the funny…

AR: Yes, yes, because there wasn’t a lot of funny, funny stuff for me. I mean there were opportunities but I pushed back from them because I was trying to not do the comedic. I’m just so know for comedy from the past. Now it’s back to where I’m known for both comedy and drama; that’s what I wanted. But it also took a while to get there.

B&TF: Would they let you improvise like that?

AR: Yeah. That’s what’s great about The L Word – very, very collaborative. It’s just very collaborative and that’s when I work best; when you let me be a little free. You can always pull me down but to start out in a straight jacket and not have a free environment, that doesn’t encourage me to play, you know what I mean? If you start out with the collaborative environment then you’re going to get the better performance out of your actor. Certainly in my case; that’s how I work best. And so, that’s how it is on The L Word.

B&TF: Did you have any suggestions about your character that weren’t implemented in the episode but it was something that you really wanted to show?

AR: Ah, no. Not really. I sort of wanted to make sure…you know I was a guest star and I wanted to be true to the character and I don’t like to push too much. I don’t like to push too much to risk set conviviality. I like to try and be a team player.

B&TF: Otherwise you get the reputation of being a hard actress to work with.

AR: Yeah. I just don’t like to do that unless I really believe firmly in something. Then I’ll fight for it; but it’s not going to be a big brawl. We’re all sort of on the same page, I think.

B&TF: Talking about when Jenny had two lovers; Gene and you, what do you think Jenny’s issues were with Robin and the whole monogamy?

AR: Well, Robin’s so much older than she was and just in a different place in life. And, she was jilted after the wedding so she has historical baggage there. She was just ready years before that to get married, before she met Jenny. She was just on a different page in life than Jenny and because of age and experience; I just feel like they could’ve learn from each other but obviously, they were not a couple.

And then there was a bit about Robin that as much work as she’d done on herself, after that wedding thing in my mind she was devastated and then she worked really hard on herself to start dating again. Then she met other people but also she met Jenny and she still needed more work. I think Robin, after realizing that she had maybe pushed a little too hard with Jenny, had more work to do on herself. So, in my mind after Jenny broke up with her she just went back to working on herself and realizing – “Oh, I still have a little more work to do in that area…”

B&TF: Do you think she ended up happy?

AR: I do. Yes, I do. I’m a very positive person, so yes.

B&TF: Do you think Jenny’s issue was that she was still in love with Marina? Because just from the mention of her name she fainted…

AR: Yeah, yeah. It’s that love/hate thing. I think that’s what she had in regards to Marina. She didn’t want to have any more feelings towards her but she actually probably did even though the lines said, “I don’t care about her anymore.”

B&TF: Well, you always say that but in reality…

AR: Yeah, that means the opposite.

B&TF: It’s actually really interesting what you were saying because Marina was Jenny’s first love; well female love, maybe even first love cause who knows what Tim was. In the Season 5 finale there’s this scene where Tina’s explaining to Bette about the scene from Lez Girls and Jenny’s attachment to Marina. And Bette says it’s always hard to let go of your first love. What’s your take on that?

AR: It’s huge, it’s huge.

B&TF: How long do you remember it or what’s the whole experience about your first love?

AR: That person holds a certain part, a corner of your heart forever. And, whoever comes up afterwards can never infiltrate that part of your heart. That part of your heart is owned forever, I think, by that first love and that’s okay. And it should be that way. It’s sort of pays homage to something that is absolutely deserving of that.

B&TF: And it usually happens when you’re younger…

AR: Yes! Yes, you’re more open, you’re less jaded and you’re more open. Even though you have great loves after your first love, they are not going to infiltrate that one section that your first love will always have. No one can touch it. It’s not saying that subsequent loves are better or worse or whatever. They’re just different.

B&TF: Do you do the comparison?

AR: I used to compare more. I don’t do it as much now. That was a problem. I think it’s human nature to compare but I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, I compare less and less. I’ve changed. So my ‘picker’, who I pick to be with, has changed so they don’t really compare. When I was younger, I would compare more. Who wants to be part of your stupid comparison?

B&TF: You’ve mentioned during the Q&A how much you care about your mother, what about the rest of your family?

AR: I have one sister, she’s a year and a half older; she’s fabulous, we are nothing alike. We don’t look alike. She’s awesome and really a great person. She has a family; a husband, two great kids who are awesome, they’ve done a great job. They’re a boy and a girl – teenagers now and they live in Seattle. My Dad’s been retired for years and years. He did really well. He invests in real estate now and he loves cars and wine. They’re still married, my parents. They’ll be married 50 years on April 19th.

B&TF: Was it always a smooth kind of marriage?

AR: No. I don’t think it was always smooth but they decided to stick it through and push through it and that takes a lot. It is rare and so hard to do and a courageous thing to do.

B&TF: Any actors in your family besides you?

AR: No. Just me. I’m the weirdo. I’m not the black sheep, just the weirdo.

B&TF: Me too. I’m always joking just to cover my nervousness.

AR: Comedy heals everything. So does kindness.

B&TF: You also mentioned before that you like to travel. What’s your favorite place you’ve been and also the place you’d like to go?

AR: Oh, that’s so hard. I love anywhere in Italy. And where haven’t I been that I want to go to? Oh, everywhere. I haven’t been to Greece or Russia. I’d like to go to Egypt. I’d like to go to Africa. I love all island places and I’d still want to own an island. I think it would be so great to own an island somewhere. It would be so awesome. But I have to have an internet connection.

B&TF: Having been on The L Word for 2 years, what did you learn about acting, about the cast members, about fans of the show and about yourself?

AR: As far as acting – remember to stay present and listen. Just reminders of old acting 101 stuff, you know? Just keeping in the moment. Listening. Sometimes you’re thinking what’s my next line instead of listening and remaining present. It’s always better acting if you’re listening and remaining present. It’s easier as I’ve gotten older because I just believe in circumstances now. It’s pretty amazing because it just becomes second nature to me. I used to have to prepare more in advance. Anything that comes my way, I like to try. It’s not like I pick the roles. Being generous is better than not being generous. Just being collaborative; not closed off.

B&TF: I know you worked primarily with Mia but what did you learn about other cast members or working with all-female cast?

AR: I have learned in my life how to get along with all different types of people, especially when you’re a guest star which I was – sort of a recurring guest star; I think actors in general are kind of insecure. People are insecure and if you give them a sense of security from day one it will help your acting relationship. And so it helps to be kind and generous and reassure them and not be caught up in your own stuff. Because people always respond to kindness. It’s a little harder when the cast isn’t a mixed cast; there’s an innate competitiveness but if you diffuse that with generosity of spirit and collaboration, I think that works wonders.

B&TF: What did you learn about the fans of the show?

AR: The fans hunger and their passion for this kind of a show was immense – it was insane. Oh my god, it’s so wonderful because they’re really passionate, enthusiastic and kind sweet fans.

B&TF: Did you ever have any crazy moments with fans?

AR: No, no, no – I mean there are fans that are really passionate about you but you know, no ones ever been over the line. About the fan base, it made me think – geez, if this is their reaction, it’s so sad that it’s taken this long for a show like that to come up in the world. So there’s a poignant, bittersweet sadness there. But there will be another one. Now it’s started and there will be more. And thank goodness.

B&TF: What did you learn about yourself while being on the show?

AR: Yes, I do learn something from every job. I kind of have answered that question in my other answers. I try to be more generous and kind and collaborative; I’m not saying that I am. I just have to keep an open mind and stuff even when I’m insecure in my head. Don’t let that spiral, just let that moment pass and get out of yourself, and be of service to someone else, just go out and commit an act of kindness to get myself out of my head.

B&TF: Our time is up, thank you.