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  JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

Written by 2sweet2bhurt

At first I wasnt going to say anything because I hate to be critical, but if I dont say something I will EXPLODE. First off let me congratulate all the fan fiction writers who did a wonderful job at creating a series of stories for lesbians that provide truth, ethics, reality and knowledge. I find that if some of our fan fictions writers actually wrote for the show then maybe the show might actually have the whole world tuning in. Enough of living in the dream world though now back to the real issue, the L word.

I find it disgusting that the only things in a lesbian world worth anything is being experimental with a man, lies, cheating, etc. Wheres the happiness? No offence to any man. I just believe we have a whole lot to offer this world. I mean for example I have cheated before, but I also held a four-year marriage to a woman. We did not split because of some man. We were very much interested in the women only. We split because the relationship was better off ending on a good note then to keep dragging it on so it could end it like season 3. Not to mention she is my best friend now and has been for the past seven years. I do believe lesbians can maintain a relationship without the help of a man. I do believe there many lesbians who desire only women. Even though there are the ones that are confused or just like options/variety. I am disappointed with the show, for many reasons. (Mostly pertaining to how the producers are making Tina behave)

Starting with season 1.Why were Tina and Bette trying to have a baby when they never agree to get married or even made an attempt to show that they would want to be married? Why did writers just let us (the audience) know in season 3 that Tina thought it was unethical? Let's not get started with Bette. Bette loves Tina so much that cheats on her knowing the fact that she just had a miscarriage. What kind of a woman deserts her partner in a time of need like that. Than turns around and demands for Tina to get pregnant again and because Tina does not agree, Bette cheats; how ethical is that? Plus if your partner is home and pregnant , wouldn't you try to do your best to make sure she is stressed. Why wouldn't you come home? Come on Im hearing that. It does not seem realistic. Marina and her long-term partner like to date and hurt other woman while they were together. They date woman make them fall for them, leave them dry and then get mad when they lose everything. Shane on the other hand, had messed with many woman and even screw men in a gay way somehow. Also did drugs heavy at one point.

How is it where Shane health is in perfect tact, but somebody like Dana who is as healthy as can be dies with Cancer? I just don't see the logic.

Season 2 was the worst season in my eyes. The end of the season/last episode was the only thing that kept me wanting to look at season 3. Jenny was cutting herself like she was some kind of art project. She completely started to covert to the dark side. On top of that a the new roommate was living in the house and had taped Jenny and Shane doing sexual favors or during their sexual encounters, he even taped moments that Shane/Carmen later regretted because it hurt Jenny. Why did the season end and they didnt not hurt that dude. I would kicked his behind and then kick him out my house, but then again I dont want to seem realistic. Season 2 was just not well thought out to me.

Now the wonderful season 3. Where everything takes a turn for the worst. First off, what the heck happened in that sixth month timeframe that we (the audience) did not see? Why in the first episode is Dana with Lara? Alice is crazy and on mad medication. WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED? It still not explained in detail what happen to Jenny and why her behind was in a mental institution. Oh god now to Bette/Tina. WHAT HECK HAPPENED TO THEM? The last episode Tina was so desperate to come back to Bette, I thought they would have been fine. She wanted the white picket fence and family and all in their house, in their home. Come first episode these are on the verge of separating. On top that Tina is having feelings for men. Why is it so easy to leave an 8 1/2 year relationship with a woman, who has provided and loved you for again 8 1/2 years for a midnight screw with a man? Max screws Billy. Technically thats a woman sleeping with a guy. That's straight sex no matter how freaky they decide to get or look at it. Same thing with Shane who use to prostitute men.

It's almost like the producers want every woman to have some kind of hetero experience. Whether is before they became gay and open or while they are in the life and in the closet. Like being gay is some kind of lifestyle you are forced to be in because youre not happy with males. I commend Bette and Helena because to me those two women are the only ones who are actually just attracted to women. They have not tried to pursue a man and have maintained long term relations with women and even went as far as having children with their former mates. Even though Bette did say some controversial comments about a guy in one of the episodes in season 1, but I never seen her do it. So did Helena would she was in the pool talking about the little boys she experimented with and again that goes back to my previous statement. Why does it have a start with a experiment and lead into something more? What about the thought of there being a lesbian who has never been with a man in any way shape or form. I havent and I am proud to admit that. Maybe its just me but I dont get it.

I have to admit I enjoy the show dont get me wrong. Its the only show that has lesbian sexual, desires and somewhat lifestlye. I love that fact the women can express them selves in many ways. I wish the show could be more positive. I am a true fan. I have purchased every single complete season on DVD available. I also have millions of posters. I try to go to every event they have for the fans to attend. I have all the soundtracks. So I am not writing this to be mean.

I am writing to simply say; that I am a lesbian who is stereotyped every day. The show just confirms more then half of the suspicions of the people who already stereotype/label us as a joke. Half these people feel like we are just experimenting any way. A lot of people cant take us seriously now because they believe its all about sex with us, like we cant maintain an actual relationship. Even if it was all about the sex, I believe heteros do the same thing. So why is one better than the other? I dont know about other lesbians, but it means a lot more than just sex to me. Now, dont get me wrong I love that sexual act but only if there is endearment evolved. Being gay is a lifestyle that I choose to live because the thought of not be able to be with a woman makes me not want to exist. I am proud to be gay and even more proud to be a true lesbian that loves and adores women for who they are.

I just wish the show could have a little more truth to it. Maybe portray us in a positive way instead of making us all out to be cheaters, liars, attracted to men, not stable, and just down right depressed. Show the educated side of things, show how an almost 9 year relationship can relight their candle and get that old flame back. Show how it is, when a lesbian family takes on the daily world issues besides the other BS thats being enter into our minds. Show the reality of a woman who was rape or abused, how she succeeds and finds her way. Show how you can go from losing your job, almost losing your partner and child to gaining the confidence to getting everything you lost and so more, back. Show the daily struggles that we (people in general who love) go through. I have no problem with the producers showing our downs as long as they show our ups as well. We DONT always have DRAMA. We are not always sick. We are always crying or hurt. We are not always losing a love one. We are not always experiencing feelings for men. We dont always do these things. Someof us don't do some of these at all. WE LOVE AND WE LIVE. Why dont they take the time write from the heart? Write based on experience. Write based on truth. The producers will start to see, that is the change everybody will be looking for.

My overall comment; I love the fact that we have a show, just for us. I want to be able to look at that show and be proud of what I see. I dont want to have to constantly say oh all lesbians are not like that. I think its hard to give every person what he or she want. If the producers/Illene would just listen to what the community is saying. We are all saying pretty much the same thing if not the exact same thing. SO HOW HARD IS IT NOW?

Just something to think about, I guess. Basically my own thoughts from my own head. You dont have to agree, its my opinion. I just thought I share.

Take easy ladies and gentlemen.

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Comments:

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2006-04-10, 17:14:21 PM
From: Jspen
Comments: Good job getting those thoughts out! I agree with you about IC "listening to The Community." We are the ones tuning in and buying DVDs, posters, soundtracks, etc.I do hope you feel better. I do. ;)



2006-04-11, 02:37:57 AM
From: mette hartmann
Comments: yes finally. Being a, I think, typical lesbian mom of two I find it hard to identify with anything going on in TLW and I do wonder which environment IC is portraying. The joy of actually having a show that tells "our" story has quickly turned into total disbelieve.



2006-04-11, 08:29:45 AM
From: folkgirrl
Comments: I can understand your confusion about Shane being so healthy, and Dana dying of cancer. But Cancer spreads fast and kills mostly really healthy people, so this is NOT unrealistic. A good friend of mine just passed away due to cancer, she never smoked, hardly drank, and gave birth to two beautiful kids. Cancer can get anyone, even healthy people. Just make sure you get enough anti-oxidants in your diet and cross your fingers..some people that smoke and do drugs live to 80, some die at 30 and never touched a cigarette in their lives.. can never say.



2006-04-11, 08:33:32 AM
From: folkgirrl
Comments: also i want to say.. from personal experience.. lesbians can go back to men, and have babies with them.. it sucks.. but, dude, it happens. I don't lay awake at night wondering about it.



2006-04-11, 13:46:16 PM
From: annieb69
Comments: i agree completely with your comments, i think when you have the responsibility of being the only lesbian show on t.v. you should show a least one couple being happy, and that not all lesbians want a man, i find that not only sad, but reinforces the gay sterotypes that straight man have.



2006-04-22, 11:35:00 AM
From: Carolina_b
Comments: I am totally agree with your comments.I am a woman who just love and adore women, i am not an insane or cheater; i live , work and love as anyone else , and i just love women...;)



2006-04-29, 18:59:36 PM
From: Makalin
Comments: I so agree. The only reason I ever dated men, was to try to show my parents I was straight. I am in a very happy and wonderful lesbian relationship. We dont cheat, we dont want men, we dont go back to our ex lovers. The show is the best thing that could have happened, but hello.... you are proving to all the straights that we are disfunctional and making a "choice". They do need at least, at the very least, one happy and totally functional lesbian family/couple



2006-05-02, 00:04:51 AM
From: Coach
Comments: I love your comments and am in total agreement. I definitely did not like the storylines and was certainly waiting fot the happy and mishaps between the Porter/Kennard household, with the new kid. How disappointed I wasl. I have to believe that this can't possibly be a true portrait of lesbian life. Way too much drama for a single circle of friends. No one is happy in or out of a relationship. For this much drama, I think I'll watch daytime soaps. Maybe this is IC's true life?



2006-05-06, 21:11:06 PM
From: bonaire girl
Comments: I understand that these are your ideas and thoughts, but i have to react on your comment about Dana getting Cancer and , for example not Shane. I'm sorry but that is a bit short sighted, cancer has nothing to do with being living the most healthiest life possible or not. It is an illness which everybody can get, healthy living or not. Yes, some forms of cancer are more related to the way you live than others, but overall we can all get it.But like i said, these are your thoughts,and you are aloud to write and post them. I agree in the fact that they (the producers)are not giving a very good picture of Lesbian Life but i believe some part of it is due to getting "viewers rates". Thanks for your posting and i hope you have a happy gay-life.



2006-08-13, 00:04:12 AM
From: igetweak
Comments: i agree im not used to thinking about a lesbians life style because i came out of the closet when i was 13 and im 16 now....i didnt no dana died until i red your editorial lol..thanks for ruining it..i thought i would see more butch woman on the show but they juss put them as backrounds....theres many other type of lesbians..not juss a player.....a tennis player..a workaholic..a staying home mom....i wanna see more types of people like u said 2sweet2behurt...be realistic...



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