 Season
6 / Episode 5 ; Episode: "Litmus Test"
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Episode
Summary
#605: "Litmus Test"
Now entering the 2nd Half of the Final Season...
Previously on The L Word, highlights happened.
Showtime Presents... Bette and Tina on their cellphones at the Planet
while seated across from a visibly annoyed Alice and Helena. Construction
is taking place at the Happy Couple's home so all business is at the Planet
for now. Tina announces Jenny selling a script for half a million dollars.
Tina goes over a brief summation of what the script is about, all including
details that Alice had written and submitted to Jenny. Alice obviously
takes offense and pronounces Jenny to be dead. Hooray, running jokes!
Opening credits. Only three more times after this, yall. Hang in there.
And loooooooooooooooooooooooooove!!!
Alice arrives at Jenny's and is rightly pissed. Jenny however plays
unknowing jerk and tries to defend her ripping off her friend. Shane
arrives, confused. Alice goes ultimatum on Shane, putting their friendship
on the line against Shane's relationship with Jenny. Alice storms off.
Alice arrives back at the Planet where Bette and Tina are still doing
their
work stuff. Bette's working from home, but has no home thanks to
construction. Tina's avoiding the work place. Alice mentions that she
and
Tasha are hanging out with Jamie at Hit Club. Bette and Tina playfully
accuses Alice of having a Third Wheel Crush. I'm all for polyamory, but
I
have a bad feeling about this. Helena shows up, along with Kit and are
updated on the Third Wheel Crush. Helena is then prompted by Kit to
mention that she's having dinner with Dylan on Saturday Night. The friends
remind Helena of Dylan's past misdeeds. Alice proposes a test for Dylan
to
make sure that everything's on the up and up with her now. Bette seems
a
bit against the idea, but comes up with the perfect identity to help get
things going in terms of seduction. Niki. Yes, that Niki. Bette even
comes up with just the right plot for Niki to say hi to Dylan. Helena
seems unsure about this idea. She reluctantly gives it the okay. And it
has to happen tonight.
Now the plan is put into place. First, Shane is drafted by Tina to talk
to
Niki, who's on the set of her latest film. Shane goes over with Niki what
she needs to do. Niki accepts, but makes it clear what she really wants
with her.
Tina then drafts Jenny to pretend to be Niki's manager to set up the
meeting. Jenny, impersonating away and with Tina coaching, calls Dylan.
Dylan agrees to the meeting at Hit Club...it's a Hit!
Dylan then calls Helena and goes over the details, which Helena already
knows since it's a setup and all. Dylan makes sure they're still on for
tomorrow night. Now we wait and see.
Shane arrives in Jenny's bedroom. Jenny goes over the setup and Shane
brings up her part of it. Jenny proceeds to get territorial on Shane,
which is never a good idea. Jenny forbids Shane from seeing or talking
to
Niki. Shane tries to assure Jenny that everything is copascetic. Jenny
reiterates the forbidding, but Shane relents. So Jenny relents over
circumstances which are hard for me to fathom, but then I'm not an expert.
Shane puts all the bad things over her and Jenny and Niki on herself.
Jenny will have none of it and they continue arguing. Shane tries to make
it clear that she has no feelings for Niki and tells Jenny she needs to
back off. Jenny finally admits being wrong and that she should trust her.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Tim got off lucky.
Onto some restaurant where Bette and Tina have dinner with Kelly and
some
guy. Caleb? Something like that. They go over Bette and Kelly's history.
The guy leaves for a phone call. Then he comes back and hands the phone
to
Bette so she can talk to that guy about work stuff. For anyone playing
trivia, the confused person on the phone is named Jason. Kelly asks Tina
about flirting and Tina sarcastically okays it. Kelly just takes it as
permission. Bette returns and now Aaron and William and some writers that
Tina's been working with. Tina wasn't invited which in Hollywoodese means
she's being fired.
Onto Hit Club...it's a Hit! We see the Security Camera room where Helena
and Kit shows off the Dawn Denbo Security left behind to Alice. Shane
and
Jenny arrive and Alice still takes offense to Jenny ripping her off. We
interrupt the arguing to bring you Dylan arriving and Niki arriving. Niki
calls Shane. Jenny isn't happy that Niki has Shane's number, but whatever.
Helena gives the final okay to make it happen. And so, Niki is on the
prowl for Dylan. First, she has to do the meet and greet with fans since
she's famous and all.
We finally get the meeting between Niki and Dylan. Niki initially flubs
on
liking one of Dylan's documentaries, messing up the title, but they get
through it.
Back at the restaurant and it's Bitter, party of four. Tina needs some
air
and departs from the table. Bette then excuses herself from the table
to
go haul off on Aaron. Tina sees Bette and interrupts. Aaron says that
he's happy to be done with dykes. I had no idea he was in the dam
business. Anyway, Tina hears that verbally hauls off on Aaron. William
doesn't think this is called for and Tina accuses him of stealing the
negatives for The Girls just to ruin Tina. Tina walks off with Bette
following suit.
Back to Hit Club...it's a Hit!!! Dylan and Niki have a conversation about
ugly retarded lesbian characters in film and the actors who win awards.
Shane knows Niki and calls when she makes her move. Shane knows the
territory on the fine art of seduction. Dylan and Niki vaguely go over
messing things up at some point in their lives. Niki then begins to make
her move and Alice accidentally shuts off the cameras. They quickly get
the cameras on again and thankfully didn't miss anything.
So far as we know.
Dylan turns Niki down. It's unethical for the star and director to get
it
on, allowing Alice to have a nice quip towards Jenny. Dylan's not going
to
be directing the movie. Well, it appears she's in love. Niki walks off
and while everyone celebrates, Helena has a look of fear. Most everyone
leaves the security room, except for Alice who checks out Tasha and Jamie
entering the club.
Helena says hello to Dylan. And now they talk. Dylan came back to Los
Angeles because she's in love with Helena. She also understands Helena's
bevy of emotions about all this. Helena wants to talk with Dylan somewhere
privately. And so they leave.
Niki dances. Jenny watches, all pissed off with Kit seated beside her.
Alice and Tasha and Jamie dance together. Sure, no Alice/Dana/Lara, but
we
get this. I see how it is.
Shane grabs her phone from Jenny who was checking messages.
Alice, Jamie and Tasha arrive and Shane needs Alice's help. She wants
to
go outside to get away from Jenny for a few minutes. Jenny's trying to
be
way too domineering, but Shane leaves anyway. Just for five minutes.
Dylan's place now and it's just her and Helena. Helena is nervous on
top
of nervous. Dylan starts talking about talking about whatever and Helena
cuts to the chase. Slowly, but surely anyway. I could go into detail
here, but I'll refrain. They kiss and proceed to have storytime together.
While that's happening, Shane's out for a smoke. Niki shows up, says
hey.
Niki bums a cigarette, saying that she's having a hard time quitting.
Shane thanks Niki for helping out with the whole test thing earlier
tonight. Shane is about to go back in and tells Niki that she's with Jenny
now. Niki tips off that she wants Shane and was hoping that's why Shane
showed up at the set earlier. "If Jenny weren't in the picture,"
says
Shane, then things night be different. Uh huh. Niki will hold out hope
for that. It's like a rinse and repeat.
Jenny takes on Alice, Tasha and Jamie over Jenny ripping Alice off. Shane
shows up and is in a position to have to pick a side. Shane goes
Switzerland and walks off. Jamie wants her friends to dance, so the three
of them go to dance.
Jenny and Shane argue and is paranoid. Jenny gets ill and is about to
walk
off, but Shane wants her friend. Shane would rather have Jenny the friend.
Jenny wants the romantic relationship and like that, Shane is trapped.
They've gotta get out of there, according to Jenny and she walks off.
Shane just stands there.
We get some nice music by Duffy while Dylan makes love to Helena and
Helena
cries. She really is scared about all this. So is Dylan. Well that's
reassuring, I guess.
We end with the NFL Films inspired slow motion epic at Hit
Club...it's...a...Hit!!! Alice, Tasha and Jamie are dancing together and
things are beginning to look fun and and intense there. Shane is walking
and wondering. Niki is dancing and wondering. Jenny is paranoid and
wondering and worrying. Shane looks like she has the weight of the world
on her head.
Only three more episodes left! This week was totally Max free, by the
way
so there's no telling where he was at during all this. Maybe we'll find
out next week.
Discuss
the episode and share your thoughts on the rest of Season 6!
Guest
Stars:
Elizabeth Berkely
Roger Cross
Alexandra Hedison
Mei Melancon
Music
1 Recap--Elizabeth Ziff
2 Traffic Light --Ting TIngs
3 Avalanche--BETTY
4 Main Title--BETTY
5 Transeparence--Asobi Seksu
6 Honey West--BETTY
7 Hatching the Plan 1-- Elizabeth Ziff
8 Enamorada-- Rue Melo
9 Hatching the Plan 2 -- Elizabeth Ziff
10 Wondergirl-- Genise
11 Hatching the Plan 3-- Elizabeth Ziff
12 Arcana-- Philippe Saisse
13 Hatching the Plan 4-- Elizabeth Ziff
14 Rock Shake-- Jamila Cooksey feat. Pimp da Pen
15 Hatching the Plan 5-- Elizabeth Ziff
16 Rock Shake-- Jamila Cooksey feat. Pimp da Pen
17 Giving Me Attitude--Bridgette Sarai
18 Beat Control--Tilly and the Wall
19 Let Go-- Amy Bell feat. Genise
20 Bubble Gum-- Thunderheist
21 Syrup and Honey--Duffy
Previews
Episode 6.06: "Lactose Intolerant"
Jenny throws a baby shower for Max; Bette and Tina hit a roadblock in
the adoption process; Bette goes solo to her gallery's opening night celebration
leading Kelly to go in for the kill; Shane is feeling boxed in by Jenny;
and Alice starts to feel like three is a crowd.
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