 Season
5 / Episode 9; Episode: "Liquid Heat"
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Episode
Summary
The L Word Episode 509 - "Liquid
Heat"
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It's gettin' hot out there...
Previously on The L Word, stuff happened and Tasha quit the Army.
Showtime Presents, hot fun in the Summertime (which means this is possibly
taking place in the Summer of 2007). The set with rolling blackouts
causing problems and power outtages and such. Greg has an Elmo tattoo
on
his backside. Well, we all have our fetishes. We're gettin' ready for,
"Jim," and, "Niki," to have a sex scene in the movie
and then another power
failure, as Tina snaps.
The happy theme song, featuring Helena still hangin' in there in the
montage. Well, that's good, otherwise she wouldn't be there at all!
Things have been apathetic lately so let's see if the show steps it
up...and LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVE!!!
The power of the opening montage causes the power to come back on on
set.
Shane's there, hangin' out with whomever. And...action! Greg has back!
Jenny seems annoyed by our stars enjoying themselves in bed. And...cut!
Jenny doesn't want Niki enjoying the sex. Niki interrupts Jenny's mindset
with logic. "It's not a man hating film," says Jenny. I laugh
and
somewhere Tim trips over himself. Have I mentioned how much I pray this
isn't autobiographical? And...action! More sex and Greg's lovable
bottom...and cut! Jenny reminds Niki that she's not supposed to like this
and then we have our moment of melodrama as Jenny asks if Niki had real
sex
with Greg after their date. We have awkward silence and Niki apologizes,
explaining the whole, "I was drunk and under pressure blah blah blah."
Jenny then chastises a man for having the opportunity to have sex with
a
beautiful woman and going forth with it. Jenny, hypocrite she is, fires
Greg.
*pause*
There was supposed to be another guy playing Tim in Season 1, but they
had
to recast. Just wanted to throw that out there for ya.
*unpause*
Hey look, it's Phyllis and Joyce! Joyce goes over the strategy she used
on
Leonard and apparently it worked so his life is destroyed and there's
no
victory for him in court either. Let's hear it for justice! Then again
this is Los Angeles we're talkin' about. Phyllis shows signs of wanting
to
get back with Joyce and Joyce turns it down.
The Planet, which is open the business again and they have big ol' bags
of
ice. Kit, Alice and Tasha discuss a request for a mafia dinner with the
SheBar couple.
Back at the set, Tina tries to talk Jenny out of her manic depression
and
Adele arrives with a phone, with William The Boss Boss calling from Dubai
looking to have Jenny rehire and apologize to Greg. Adele's really good.
Jenny asks if anyone's seen Greg, but in a very derogatory sense. Men
are
evil! Rock N' Roll!!! Jenny acknowledges her mistake to the crew with
a
very non-apologetic apology and Tina wants everyone to get back to work.
Bette's house as she and Jodi arrive at the pool to cool off. Jodi dives
in and Bette gets a call from Tina. CU cancelled their classes. Tina asks
Bette about the SheBar dinner thingy (the invitations were sent out in
between episodes I guess). Bette/Tina move on to discussing their meeting
with Dan later in the evening. They talk about Angelica, who's...wherever
she is right now...daycare, youth camp, Men Are Evil 101, wherever. They
finish their phone chat and Jodi gives Bette words of encouragement on
the
Dan Foxworthy thing with Tina.
Tina asks Sam out for dinner, but Sam isn't blind and notices the tension
and issues with Tina and Bette. So Sam isn't interested for the time
being. Sam feels bad for Jodi in all this. Ah ha!!! Sam is wise.
Jenny arrives at Niki's trailer, but she's long gone.
Poolside as Jodi gets Bette all wet (no, not like that ya pervs). Bette
doesn't wanna proceed with the makin' with the lovin' with Jodi and now
we
havesome tension between these two. Jodi asks what's going on and Bette
admits she's in love with Tina with her back turned to Jodi. Oh, Jodi's
deaf so she didn't hear that (or get to read the lips). Bette cops out
that she's just unhappy to Jodi's face. But The TiBetters are too busy
lighting cars on fire in the streets in celebration to really care. And
that's all that matters, you know. *wink* Jodi wants to be there for
Bette and whatnot.
Jenny finishes up a love letter for Adele to send off to Niki. Shane
calls
Jenny over to her. Jenny wants Adele to meet Jenny at the trailer later
in
the evening. Keep that in mind for later. Shane is best friend to Jenny
in making her feel better about herself. Y'know, if Shane were like this
with everybody instead of just Jenny, she'd be a lot more likeable.
Shane's crushing on a straight girl...but then again there are NO STRAIGHT
GIRLS IN THIS UNIVERSE!!!
The silly SheBar thing which is meant for possible comedy but comes out
more as unintentional comedy. Kinda like that Black Knight movie (and
I
know, I was in that crap of a film). Cindi's not a happy camper with Dawn,
but Dawn's the uber alpha. Cindi is starting to show signs of rebellion,
both with words and her new haircut. Dawn plays whatever victim card she
had. There's hope for a big throwdown, but Bette kills it with a silly
comprimise. The one time we need Bette to be in her AlphaBette glory and
she simply concedes. Season 1 Bette would've eaten Dawn alive. Dawn gets
her way in the negotiations. Jenny thinks Dawn's psychotic. Well, if
anyone knows the territory... Dawn and Kit shake on their silly deal (I
give it two episodes at most).
On to the Planet as we prepare for Alice's podcast with special guest,
Max!
Alice treats this like its filler and has Shane play around with the
camera. Alice also apologizes for past comments at Max's expense.
Trannies, they get no love. Kate Kendall gets a shout out (for all the
fantasy players out there). Alice mentions being bisexual being more
natural. Personally I think it's most natural, but then I'm Biased with
a
capital Bi.
Bette and Kit talk and Kit sees through all the BS with Bette's talking
about Tina and Angelica and Dan. Kit defends Jodi as Bette admits her
affair with Tina without havin' to say a word.
Shane is easily distracted as Molly shows up with Richard, the would-be
boyfriend (love the pink shirt). The podcast is interrupted, but it's
only
Max so it's okay. Richard and Molly walk away with Richard being pegged
as
a bad guy, because he's destroying Earth, blahblahblah...please, spare
me.
Bette/Tina in an elevator together when the power goes out. Well, it'll
either be Tina or the wall.
Back to the Planet and Tom arrives, explaining his absence with being
at
art shows and stuff. He talks with Max while putting himself on display
while seated. Grace's current absence is explained with her being in San
Francisco. Hey, that's where Lara is! Whether Max and Grace really are
still going together has been rather vague in Season 5. Tom admits to
freaking out about being attracted to Max. Max seems dejected and
understands, but Tom wants to go out with him on a date and all is well
with the World.
Tasha enjoys the sounds of 6 PM at Alice's apartment. What, no Tracy
Bonham playing her piano? Tasha's not used to being home at this time
of
day so she enjoys it. And she has nothing to do. Good thing Alice is
there, eh? They look at each other all cute and kiss.
Back to the elevator as Bette/Tina try to fight off the urge to be livin'
it up while they're goin' down. Each pretend to be Dan (which is who
they're on their way to see while stuck). Tina's worried about how hurt
Jodi will be and how people will judge. Well, people may point out the
obvious, but that's the chance you take with doing stuff like this. Bette
compliments Tina and we start engaging with some footsie. Bette's afraid
she's destructive. I'm afraid she's destructive. Then comes our truly
hilarious moment as Tina apologizes for being with Henry and being against
Bette and was awful. Yeah, well when Bette kidnaps your kid and your
friends turn their back on ya due to being OH MY GOD A MAN MEN ARE EVIL
LOL, I'd say you have a right to be a bit angry and vindictive. But that's
just me. Anyway, Bette/Tina start makin' out.
Shane & Jenny hang out on the set and Shane's ready to go. Shane
gets a
call and it's from Molly wanting company and ass...but officially she
just
wants company, because she's scared. Richard's back in a plan on the way
to Vermont. Good for Richard, he got out of there.
The power's out again as Niki arrives at Jenny's. She's so happy about
the
letter and so in love in Jenny and she kisses...ADELE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
The power comes back on and Niki mentions Adele looking just like Jenny.
And so Niki's off to the set where she was supposed to meet Jenny (Remember
earlier? Good!).
Shane arrives at Molly's and Molly wants to have sex with Shane. Say
it
with me, THERE ARE NO STRAIGHT GIRLS IN THIS UNIVERSE!!! Irony is
delicious as Shane calls Richard a tool. Shane...the truest of tools if
a
tool ever existed walks with Molly towards the bed as Molly shoots down
the
institution of marriage and all that.
Tom and Max wrap up their date and proceed to kiss. Awwwwwwww...
Molly and Shane are on the bed. Molly kisses Shane, Shane kisses back
and
here we go. You know what? Screw it, more power to ya, kids! Molly
notices that Shane has female breasts. I'm guessin' she's got a vagina,
too.
Niki arrives, wanting to explain how much she loved her letter and Jenny
kisses her. And they love each other and proceed with the makin' of the
lovin'.
Molly says Shane is like a guy, but softer. Okay then. Shane says she's
not a guy. Well, let's hope not at this point. Anyway, they talk and make
out and stuff. Molly's ready for this and they're off! Molly gets to
penetrate Shane. Wow, considering how long it took Carmen to get to that
point, that's rather remarkable.
Alice has ice and takes off her dress while in Tasha's lap. And they
have
their moment of intimacy.
So basically everyone's makin' out except Kit, Phyllis and Jodi. I would
mention Adele, but she at least got a kiss earlier (*chuckle*).
Bette/Tina do their usual love making as TiBetter throw confetti about
and
issue In Your Face taunts to everyone else.
Tom uses a condom as he boldy goes where Billie Blaikie's probably gone
before with Max.
Niki's naked, which is always a good thing, as she and Jenny continue
on.
I can't help but wonder if Jenny tasted a little bit of Greg. ...Yeah,
I
went there.
Shane's on top of Molly now. Molly is beginning to treat Shane in much
the
same way Phyllis did Alice early into their fling in Season 4. Then
Phyllis walks in, says nothing and walks out.
Alice/Tasha are still goin' strong.
Power's back on and Bette/Tina quickly get their clothes on. Bette says
she loves Tina and Tina says she loves Bette and they arrive at Dan's
floor. Hey, Dan's still around!
Phyllis and Molly have one of the better mother-daughter arguments as
Molly
defends being with Shane. Phyllis doesn't think this'll last. And that's
it for this week!
Wow, there was so much screwin' there at the end, I'm surprised they
didn't
strike oil. Next week, it's Episode 510 and I refer you back to what I
said during Episode 410 about how the 10th official episode of each Season
seems to revolve around death in some way. It'll also be the Weekend of
Second Anniversary of Episode 310. And we all know what happened there.
---
Discuss
the episode and share your thoughts on the rest of Season 5!
Guest
Stars:
Cybill Shepherd
Malaya Rivera Drew
Kate French
Clementine Ford
Patricia Velásquez
Wallace Shawn
Music
1 Recap Elizabeth Ziff
2 Swing Out Elizabeth Ziff
3 Main Title BETTY
4 Lights Out Elizabeth Ziff
5 Joyce & Phyllis Elizabeth Ziff
6 Birdbath Elizabeth Ziff
7 The Family Elizabeth Ziff
8 The Family out Elizabeth Ziff
9 Love For Life Standfast
10 Private Number William Bell Feat Judy Clay
11 Emergency The Sweet Inspirations
12 Let Da Music Quiero Club
13 Swimming Pool Freeze Pop
14 Swimming Pool Freeze Pop
15 Swimming Pool Freeze Pop
16 End Song Elizabeth Ziff
Previews
THE L WORD 5.09 "Lifecycle"
As the girls prepare to set off on the Subaru Pink Ride, Tina spots Niki
Stevens embarking on more than just a bike ride with Jenny. Shane is confronted
by her new admirer, or shall we say 'stalker' Molly. A sympathetic Tina
pedals through the topic of Jodi and Bette.
Directed By: Angela Robinson
Written By: Angela Robinson
Guest Stars: Malaya Rivera Drew, Kate French, Clementine Ford
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