Season 5 / Episode 6 ; Episode: "LIGHTS!
CAMERA! ACTION!"
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Episode
Summary
The L Word Episode 506 - "LIGHTS!
CAMERA! ACTION!"
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Hello, Season 5. My name is Midway Point. Pleased to meet you.
Previously on The L Word, stuff happened and Dawn declared war on the
Planet.
Showtime Presents...a Jenzilla'd version of our first line of dialogue
in
Pilot as, "Bev," and, "Nina," (Bette & Tina) go
through the, "let's make a
baby," with Ilene...er...Jenny directing the scene. Jenny decides
it's
time to hire a lesbian sex coach for the actresses. This is getting
surreal. I think my head's gonna explode.
Speaking of heads exploding, here's the Opening Theme!!! Everyone sing
along!!! If you can stand it...ahhhh...meltdown sequence...I can feel
it
coming...in the air tonight...oh, Lord...AND
LOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!!!!!!
Shane arrives at SheBar to make peace with Dawn/Cindy, but it doesn't
go
too well. Dawn wants SheBar to replace The Pluto Cafe (The Planet) in
Lez
Girls. Shane's not going to do that. Dawn decides to take matters into
her own hands in getting the Planet destroyed. Dawn makes a threat to
have
the Planet taken down OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF OTHER CUSTOMERS. Just noting
that for later in case, y'know...something happens.
Alice's apartment as Alice has packed up Tasha's stuff into one lil'
suitcase. So is this the opposite of U-Haul? Would this be an A-Haul?
Tasha gets her stuff and she trusts Alice, but they don't work well
together. Alice was offered a talk show gig, but Alice apparently isn't
into the mainstream stuff. She likes her niche audience, methinks. Tasha
leaves and Alice is all sad.
Bette's home as Tina arrives while Bette's cooking. Remember waaaaaaaaay
back in Season 1 when they'd talk about having other people (that we never
saw) taking care of housekeeping stuff? Kit's got Angelica at Disneyland
(look out for those Monarch programmers) and Tina helps Bette with the
cooking. Tina's got that look like she wants this to go in a different
direction. So Tina takes the direct approach...but not before making it
clear that Bette doesn't wanna hurt Jodi. With that, we proceed with the
Makin' Of The Lovin'! TiBetters everywhere jump for joy and cancel their
nuclear option for Vancouver (for now) and pause their FanFic reading
to
watch. I say this in jest, of course. Tina takes control of Bette in bed.
Too much talking here...just go with it, ladies.
Vancouver now as Jenzilla is on her path of destruction. Sally tries
doing
her job (whatever it is) and Adele The Faithful Minion is there, too.
The
more I watch Jenny, the more I pray that this isn't autobiographical.
Jenzilla gets her way and Sally appears indifferent at this point. William
wants the shooting to be in Los Angeles instead of Vancouver as well.
This
is The L Word's way of saying, "Thank you," to Van City for
their
hospitality, I suppose. Jenny wants to celebrate this victory by littering
and then taking Adele shopping for a better look. Vancouver's apparently
a
sucky town, but is high in fashion. Well there ya go.
OH MY GOD, IT'S PHYLLIS!!!!!!!!! AND JOYCE!!! Hallelujah they're alive!
Joyce talks with Phyllis and wants her lawyer job back with Phyllis and
considers that Phyllis owes her for breaking up with her. Okay then.
Onto some big mall in Vancouver. In summation, fashionable means
expensive. So basically if you wear a sack of crap, but it was bought
at
some expensive clothing store, then it's accepted as high fashion. This
is
why blue collar and rural people tend to look down on cityfolk at times.
Because cityfolk do stupid things like this.
*pause*
Christ, I sound bitter today...sorry, yall.
*unpause*
Adele picks out an expensive piece of jewelry for Jenny to get for Niki.
Have I mentioned that Adele is
sssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo adorable and cute?
Adele may have played her, "I want Jenny subtle," card with
the line about
people always falling in love with the Director. Not to sound gripey,
but
if this were any other show, I would've probably stopped watching at this
point and went back to Daytona Speedweeks coverage. But it's The L Word,
so...yeah.
Alice cries, earning Fantasy league points for whomever.
Tina has Angelica and they're out of milk. So that's what Tina's place
looks like! She's come a long way since the start of Season 2. Angelica's
the quiet type. Tina calls Bette, but Bette has Jodi with her and things
are a little weird for her as a result. Bette is apparently less than
thrilled with Jodi's podcast appearance with Alice. I think I missed that
argument. Bette's just stressed and wants to stay at home and Jodi wants
to do something to snap Bette out of her funk (her addiction to Tina,
of
course).
The Planet, as Alice and Shane hang out with Tina and little Angelica.
That particular corner of the Planet looks a lot different from how it
used
to. Tasha's discussed briefly and Alice doesn't wanna talk about it.
Bette calls in about meeting Tina at the Planet, but it's too late. Tina's
got company so Ha-ha! Phyllis has a party coming up later and they'll
all
meet up there. Angelica sees puppies, but they're really big friggin'
rats.
Kit deals with some guy who has the Planet closed and cleared out. Shane
walks in and has a theory as to how those rats got in there.
Which leads us to Kit at a firing range. Wuh oh.
Phyllis throws a party. Jodi is absent from the party, 'cause she doesn't
like work functions, Phyllis bein' her boss and all. Tina, Shane and Alice
are there, but so is Bette. This gives Bette & Tina the opportunity
to
sneak away together.
Alice & Shane watch Phyllis at the swimming pool. Before things can
get
rowdy, Phyllis's daughter arrives. Alice doesn't know who Phyllis's
daughter is (pay better attention to the pictures, Al).
Tina's place as Bee and Tee drink green tea or whatever. Bette doesn't
know what to do. She's not in love with Jodi, because as much as she likes
her, she doesn't compare...presumably to Tina. This leads to another
Makin' Of The Lovin' session between these two.
Oooooooo, tongue.
*pause*
You do realize that Bette/Tina became a couple as a result of an illicit
affair, right? So I guess this type of relationship makes most sense to
them. Somethin' to think about while they hurt Jodi.
*unpause*
More lovin' and at point, Tina grasps Bette's breasts like a couple of
baseballs.
It's 4:03 AM now and they're cuddled in bed together. 'Cause that's how
they roll. Bette's gonna go now and they both wake up from their slumber.
Tina brings forth the reality of how Jodi could be hurt. Bette doesn't
know what to do and Tina doesn't know what she wants (insert silly bi
joke
here). A bit more kissin' before Bette goes.
And now we get into the surrealness again as Jenny & Adele arrive
at their
filming location. Again, I pray this isn't autobiographical. Please, God,
Jesus, prophet Mohamed and Tom Cruise don't let this be autobiographical.
Some guy working mistakes Jenny for an extra. Well, there goes his job.
Phyllis, Jodi, Tom and Bette are in an office. Phyllis discuses her
daughter, Molly arriving at the party last night. She's hoping that
Bette/Jodi can convince Molly that lesbians can be, "respectable
and
upstanding and stable." Well, make sure she doesn't watch The L Word.
Phyllis consider Bette/Jodi to have a stable relationship, forcing a look
of guilt from Bette that no one picks up on. They discuss the idiot
student and his soap gun and Molly arrives. No easy solution will be good
for this. Phyllis mentions to Molly that they're lesbians. Jodi decides
to resign from her job. She doesn't want to jeopardize anyone else's job,
especially Bette. Oh, it just gets better with Jodi, heheh.
Back to surrealism as Niki arrives late. Niki is not in a good mood.
This
is to be a reenactment of Jenny & Tina's conversation in Pilot and
the
whole rosemary thing. Maybe they went with Jenny's photographic memory
or
something. "Nina's," thinking about going back to school. Tina
was
thinking about going back to school...wonder how that worked out? Jenny
tries to explain the scene to Niki and Niki walks off. Jenny's gonna go
take care of things.
Ignore that stupid show plug at the bottom of the screen...ignore them.
Showtime, I'm not gonna watch it! So stop! Jenny tries to cheer Niki up.
Niki doesn't care about the jewelry gift. Remember that whole thing about
autobiographical? Picture Ilene with Mia Kirschner. If you can. I keep
this up, thery're gonna fire me, so let's keep going! Anyway, Jenny/Niki
get it on in Niki's trailer and everyone listens in! This could pose a
problem and Aaron's not amused. William The Boss Boss arrives to say hi
to
Aaron The Boss.
Adele to the rescue!!! She introduces herself to William (Adele Channing,
a last name!). Adele breaks the news to William before anyone else, but
in
convinces him that it's not so bad, because of Niki being so fresh and
green. Adele argues that Jenny is doing Niki to relax her nerves and
because William wanted Niki in the film. Aaron, Tina and Jenny arrive.
Aaron's pissed. William plays Daddy to Jenny and tells Aaron not to yell
at her. William makes an ironic note about Jenny being able to put fragile
people back together. I'm sure Stacy & Lindsey would disagree. And
Marina. And Tim. And so on...
Alice is on location for her podcast for Lez Girls. Alice is still
emotional, but blames the allergies.
Some cop fella arrives to inform Jenny & Co. that locals are threatening
to
shut down the film. Dawn/Cindy represent the, "locals." Shane
points out
the couple and Tina points out that they don't live here. William arrives
and offers five thousand dollars to the ladies. They accept, but Dawn
says
it isn't over. Is this followed by something about karma?
Shane does Adele's hair, and Adele winds up getting her hair done like
Jenny. Whoa, dude...
Bette and Kit walk down the sidewalk in the neighborhood and Jodi's
resignation is discussed. Bette doesn't want Kit to get a gun. Tina says
hi to the sisters and walks with them. We get to a Jesse (Jenny) &
Jim
(Tim) scene bein' filmed.
Way. Too. Damn. Surreal.
Max notices Adele's haircut and Adele has officially gone from adorable
to
disturbing.
Alice informs Kit about the SheBar girls. Kit wants to take them down.
Bette/Tina look on with Jenny at the helm.
Max goes over Adele's conflicting story about getting the haircut to
Shane.
Well, here we go...
"It's gonna be great," says Bette.
And that's the first half of Season 5. Fasten your seatbelts for the
second half, yall!
For all my snipey comments here and there, this is still a great,
entertaining show. Let's see how it all begins to wrap up.
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Discuss
the episode and share your thoughts on the rest of Season 5!
Guest Stars:
Malaya Rivera Drew
Alicia Leigh Willis
Elizabeth Keener
Kate French
Wendy Glenn
Anglela Gots
Clementine Ford
Cybill Shephard
Jane Lynch
Wallace Shawn
Music
1 Recap Elizabeth Ziff
2 Swing Time Elizabeth Ziff
3 Main Title BETTY
4 Piece of my love Debby Holiday
5 Love and Affection Joan Armatrading
6 Love and Affection Joan Armatrading
7 Pull Shapes The Pipettes
8 Alice Transition Elizabeth Ziff
9 My Baby Specializes William Bell Featuring Judy Clay
10 Puppies Elizabeth Ziff
11 Kit at the range Elizabeth Ziff
12 Leader Of The Pack The Shangrilas
13 Thunderbirds Maggie Lewis
14 Honey Honey Feist
15 Bette Leaves Elizabeth Ziff
16 Nikki Leaves Elizabeth Ziff
17 Monkey On My Back Client
18 Bette Arrives Elizabeth Ziff
19 Juliet Of The Spirits B52s
Previews
THE L WORD 507: "Lesbians Gone Wild"
Tasha meets Colonel Gillian Davis, the hard-assed military attorney who
will be prosecuting her "Don't Ask Don't Tell" case. Back on
the Lez Girls set, Bette and Tina steal a passionate moment behind-the-scenes
while conniving Adele convinces Niki Stevens to ditch work for "Lesbian
Turkish Oil Wrestling" at rival club, SheBar.
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