5 / Episode 10; Episode: "Lifecycle"
The L Word Episode 5.10 - "Lifecycle"
Only 10 more episodes left in the series after this. Two this year, eight
next year. Yes, eight.
Previously on The L Word, stuff happened. And so did other stuff.
Showtime Presents, the Subaru Pink Ride! Hey, Subaru...how 'bout doing
this in real life, eh? This doesn't really have a Random Act feel to it.
Opening theme and montage. You'll only have to deal with it ten more
after this week! And LOOOOOOOVE!!!
It's the 2008 Subaru Pink Ride, so now I'm all confused as to when this
taking place. Maybe quite a bit of time passed between this episode and
last. Or perhaps there is no timeline and the whole thing's made up.
Anyway, Tasha meets a couple of old friends and I love her laugh.
Niki's here with Jenny and Tina's none too pleased. Niki was supposed
be doing a shoot for Rolling Stone. Adele's there, too and Tina's annoyed.
Niki's wearing a Girltrash t-shirt. Niki's recognized by a fan and Tina's
ready to quit.
Molly arrives to talk to Shane. Kit points it out laughingly as, "True
love." Shane takes offense to being labeled as, "uneducated,"
and tries to
part ways with her. All things considered, Molly should probably heed
advice and just ride her bike away from her.
So the ride begins with Shane out front to start things off. Lots of
riding and the girls have the Team Dana jerseys going. I want one of those!
Bette rides alongside Tina and they talk about looking good in pants
fooling around behind Jodi's back. So obviously she'll find out about
'cause that's how this show rolls. On bicycle wheels!
Tasha catches up with her old friends and Alice continues at her own
pace. Some thunder in the background.
A rest stop deal in the rain as Shane and Niki talk. Hey, if it's female
and human, Shane's there. Niki appears interested in Shane while talking
to her, while Shane dismisses the idea of ever being with Jenny. Jenny
arrives and she's feeling numb in a very delicate area. And here comes
Molly! Shane takes off and Jenny makes out with Niki.
Molly catches up to Shane and they make a deal to race to the next pit
stop. If Molly wins, Shane has to listen to her. If Shane wins, Molly
goes home. Go Shane!!! Hurry, Shane!!! Molly is trying to keep up, but
Shane stays ahead 'til just before the pit stop. Molly drops the Love
on her, causing Shane to stop and Molly to pull into the pit stop first.
Shane feels cheated and Molly wants to be with her. Funny speech by Molly
here and wanting to be better with Shane. The dialogue reveals that this
is taking place in, "The Pacific Northwest." Well that narrows
Shane and Molly kiss.
Into this nice room with a tribute to those who have succumbed to breast
cancer (which is what this ride is about). Alice removes her Dana pin
places it on the wall with the other pics. All things considered, Tasha
as supportive as she can be here. This also lends credence to the notion
that the tenth official episode each year has something to do with death.
We continue on with Bette and Jodi looking at a lake and Jodi bringing
the fact that Angelica isn't there. Who's babysitting Angelica? Well,
whoever it is, he or she's probably looking after Sounder II, as well.
More bike riding to fill in the time. Alice pees in the bushes. It's
almost the sense that this is the last semblance of peace in these people's
lives before the World comes crashing down later. Niki has a camera and
we've learned anything from Mark and Dylan, it's that cameras can be
dangerous. Oh, and they're rapey. And more bike riding.
Time to rest up as we get to a campout area and everyone sets up tents.
Tasha's been waiting with Tee and Nicole for a couple of hours while
waiting for Alice. Maybe this isn't a good time, but you ever notice how
Alice relationships are great for an episode or two after the big moment,
then Pfffttthpphhh afterwards? I'm getting that feeling again.
Niki and Jenny have a nice tent waiting for them, thanks to Adele and
takes a pic.
Bette is stressed out while figuring out how to set up a tent, which
Jodi. Bette sucks at this tent thing. Jenny and Niki want their privacy,
but are loud. Shane got a cheap tent and has an idea on how to play around
at Jenny's expense, bringing down the tent by undoing one of the ropes
holding it up. Jenny and Niki laughingly scream for Adele to help them.
Jodi helps Tina set up her tent and they talk about Bette's moodiness.
Jodi's not sure, but something's going on with Bette. Gee, ya think?
Jodi's so cool and Tina's so guilty.
And then...nightfall. We got marshmalllowing campfire and the Group Of
Friends gathered around. Alice talks with Adele and asks if she's gay.
Adele says she's single and has her eye on someone, but she never says
Muwuhahahaha! Adele is summoned by Jenny and leaves for her.
Silent tension between Bette and Tina with Kit noticing. Kit's not happy
with this whole deal between Bette and Tina.
Niki talks with Shane again and the yellow alert is going off. Into the
shower room we go as Niki slyly checks out Shane as they undress. And
that's that for that.
Alice says hello to Tasha in her tent and Tasha decides to complicate
life (as it inevitably does with these gals) by wanting to move in together
with Alice. Again, I love Tasha's laugh. Alice says, "okay."
that laugh again.
Back to the campfire with Alice/Tasha joining them in time for smores.
Mmmm, smores. Shane/Molly leaves to go have storytime together while the
rest make smores.
Molly finds a nicer location for her and Shane to do their business and
they proceed to have storytime together. Again, Molly's able to do with
Shane what Carmen wasn't able to do for the longest time, which again
remarkable in itself.
Back at Jenny/Niki's big tent, Jenny has the rapey camera rolling as
opens up her gift, the loving gift of a purple dildo with a harness. I
feel like Mark should be directing. Or perhaps Helena. "Just Like
Heaven," by the Cure plays as Niki and Jenny do sex video stuff.
Lee do consulting for this scene? Well, at least they didn't consult Sean
Waltman. Woulda been brutal then. Jenny's being pounded, which is
something she was so steadfast against for so long. Adele watches from
outside while smoking...whatever it is she's smoking.
Shane gives Molly an A+ for her efforts as they walk back to the campfire.
Molly will soon be going back to school so she can be a Public Defender.
Maybe she can wear the old Christine Sullivan outfits, too.
Back to Jenny/Niki's love video shoot and maybe Jenny misses Tim just
little. Maybe. As the rapey camera continues to record.
Time for a ghost story which Alice tells. It's all hokey and everything
when at the end of the story, Jenny/Niki show up looking like B-movie
villains complete with masks. It's all for fun, of course and everyone
a laugh. Enjoy the moment, ladies 'cause it's all downhill from here.
Tom and Max look so cute together.
Everyone heard Jenny/Niki having sex. And now it's time for a game! It's
called, "I Never," which is a drinking game or whatnot. Shane
never slept with a girl and everyone who has takes a drink. Adele takes
drink. Adele goes next and says she never lies about who she's sleeping
with. Tina and Bette reluctantly drink. Tom wants things to amp up. Tina
says she never had sex in a public place. Most everyone seems to drink.
Jenny goes next and says she's never been in love. Everyone drinks, except
Shane. Wow, Shane has demoted Cherie, Carmen and Paige. Tasha goes next
with "I've never cheated on a girlfriend." Tasha admits to kissing
girl long ago while in a relationship elsewhere. This conversation leads
to what constitutes as cheating. Niki agrees with Shane about messing
around being okay under some circumstances. Boy, this is headed down an
ugly road. Claude's mentioned by Max and Jenny says they were broken up
the time. I tend to agree with Jenny, which is bad for Max. Alice doesn't
like any form of cheating, period. Tasha says thinking is cheating. This
is getting a bit foreboding.
And here we go. Jenny wants everyone to raise their hand if you think
kissing is cheating. Bette doesn't raise her hands and argues about people
being judgmental. Alice goes into Bette's history of cheating. Alice has
no idea. Jodi finds this amusing, so she jokingly asks Bette if she's
cheating on her. And here comes the melodrama as Tina leaves in a guilt
ridden panic and Bette is silent. Jodi finally figures it all out and
walks out with Tom following her. Bette then leaves off with Alice
wondering what just happened and Shane's jaw dropped.
Bette follows Jodi to her tent, but before they can have angry sex like
Bette did with Tina in Season 1, the tent is zipped up. Tom makes it clear
that Jodi (and possibly Tom as well) wants Bette to, "go away."
Meanwhile, Alice and Shane check in on Tina who admits the affair to
The affair's been going on for a month, approximately. Shane says she
never saw this coming and just like the game, they all take a drink.
Kit chastises Bette pretty good in Kit's tent. Bette says she loves Tina.
Kit sees nothing but disaster (and for good reason). Bette says she's
trying to do the right thing and Kit considers it, "what's right
Bette." Amen, Kit.
Alice, Shane and Tina feel bad for Jodi and Tina admits to being in love
with Bette and starts crying. Alice and Shane console her with the notion
that Bette/Tina belong together. A giant, Worldwide, "No shit!"
out by the audience, both TiBette and Non-TiBette alike.
Jenny/Niki are left at the campfire alone. Jenny chimes in with Bette
Tina and how they should have been together. Jenny admits she isn't one
judge (and a giant, "No shit!" from Tim in Ohio). Niki says
she's going to
love Jenny forever. So they'll probably break up by the end of the Season.
'Cause that's how we roll!
Adele sneaks into the big Jenny/Niki tent and takes the video cassette
them together, replacing it with another video cassette. Adele's a sneaky
lil' so and so and have I mentioned how much I love her?
The next day and things are less than pleasant. Bette cries by herself.
Bette wanders back to the camp and Max informs her that Jodi's already
The Group Of Friends ride the trail and everything is mum. Kudos to Molly
for the pink bicycle.
The tenth official of every Season...
Episode 110 - Tina's miscarriage.
Episode 210 - Melvin arrives in town, his health fading before his eventual
Episode 310 - Dana dies.
Episode 410 - Max's Mom's funeral.
Episode 510 - A tribute to the dead.
There won't be an Episode 610 as the show itself will be dead. Two more
episodes left of the Season and ten more for the series. Hold on, tight
everyone. Things are about to get insane.
the episode and share your thoughts on the rest of Season 5!
Malaya Rivera Drew
1 Recap -- Elizabeth Ziff
2 Main Title -- BETTY
3 To Die In LA -- West Indian Girls
4 Sofia -- West Indian Girls
6 Great Escape -- Moby
7 To The Stars -- Erin McKeown
8 Tent Transition -- Elizabeth Ziff
9 Shane Pulls Tent -- Elizabeth Ziff
10 Camfire 1 -- Elizabeth Ziff
11 Campfire 2 -- Elizabeth Ziff
12 Campfire 3 -- Elizabeth Ziff
13 Just Like Heaven -- The Cure
14 Skin To Skin -- Standfast
15 Scary Story -- Elizabeth Ziff
16 Bette's Discovered -- Elizabeth Ziff
17 Tent Talk -- Elizabeth Ziff
18 The Other Side -- Racheal Yamagata
5. 11 "Lunar Cycle"
Adele shocks the producers of Lez Girls as she gathers everyone together
to reveal a steamy sex tape between the film's director and leading lady.
With the film's reputation at stake, she informs everyone of her blackmailing
agenda. Breaking up is tough to do as Jodi returns to Bette for answers.
Back at The Planet, the girls are outraged when SheBar owners Dawn Denbo
and her lover Cindi announce their newest purchase.