Season 4 / Episode 8; Episode: "Lexington
Summary 408: Lexington and Concorde
Kace Evers Episode Review Of Mass Destruction
Now initiating Snark Mode. You have been warned.
We have our previously package, beginning with Alice/Tasha. Then we get
Shane talking about Shay being important to her and then Shane/Paige.
Helena's strip thingy with Catherine. Tina talking with Jenny over Lez
Girls. Kit/Angus stuff, with Kit finding out.
Showtime Presents...a bad homage to an overrated (albeit fun) movie.
you don't know what it is just from what Jenny does here and with Sounder's
grave and all, consider yourself fortunate. Sounder's apparently Jewish.
Nightmare stuff and onto the opening...
"Girls in tight dresses where penises are evillll..." EVERYBODY
With this episode, we shall do a special Men Are Evil And Stupid count.
Bette/Tina's place as Tina talks about having to kiss Jenny's ass over
whole Lez Girls thing. Tina wants to ring her neck. She's worried about
what her friends think of her and Bette tries to calm her senses. Tina
admits she still loves Bette and the feeling's mutual.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! TiBetters everywhere rejoice and sing happy songs
a circle. Tina misses Bette so much sometimes. What? Did Henry disappear
all of a sudden? Did he vaporize? Is he gay? What happened??? Bette
comforts Tina to instill more (possibly false) hope in TiBetters. Tina
thinks she made a mistake sometimes. Jodie drops in without knocking,
because that's what people do in that neighborhood. Introductions and
Bette/Jodie kiss. Take that, FOOLISH MORTALS! Jodie shows Angelica some
sign language stuff, which Tina notices and points for the blind people
Shay and Jared do whatever, which leads to Paige and Shane pimping a
box who can damn well advertise for themselves. Product shots for the
drinking cups. Shane's not Paige's first girl. Paige, like Melissa Rivers
is label free...or sexually fluid. Oh my God, it's Yoda's Assistant!
Paige finds men physically attractive, but emotionally retarded...
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 1
Shane, to balance things out mentions women being worse. Paige doesn't
think Shane's emotionally retarded. Paige isn't expecting a relationship
right away. Well, give her points for that. Paige is apparently more of
dyke than Shane...but is she more of a lez than Lisa The Lesbian Identified
Man??? DUN DUN DUNNNNN...
Onto the Planet, where we prepare for "Bareback" being performed.
makes sure everything's good and Kit's not in a good mood. Angus however
doesn't really notice.
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 2
Kit talks with OH MY GOD IT'S GWEN STEFANI!!!! No wait, it's Papi. Papi's
Mom is Kit's biggest fan. Papi's Mom lives in Virginia, thus giving us
more background info in just a few short episodes than Tina in the 4 years
of her existence. Angus is gonna go do stuff. Papi mocks Angus...well,
she knows. Angus appears annoyed, but doesn't quite get what's happening.
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 3
Bette and Jodie talk, by the swimming pool at Bette/Tina's. We get
speaking and sign language. When Jodie doesn't speak out her lines, we
translation at the bottom of the screen. We didn't even get that with
Morales family. Bette's still unsure about her relationship with Jodie
it seems Jodie is seeing other people. Maybe she wants her own galaxy
the Chart. I wanna find that website Bette went to to learn sign language
in 30 minutes or less.
We're introduced to some girl who talks with Max. It's website talk and
stuff and it looks like Max has a hole in his chin. Female masculinity
isn't celebrated here. Masculinity isn't celebrated here...except when
Slim Daddy's around, 'cause he's cool. This girl, whoever she is wants
work with Max, regardless of monetary setup.
Onto Catherine's as Helena and Alice hang out with Helena's kids. HER
ARE ALIVE!!! That's Wilson The Would Be Supa Lova Lova and Jun Ying for
those who forgot. Winnie's mentioned as being on a retreat somewhere.
God, I hope it ain't a silent one. Helena goes over being placed in Poker
Tournaments by Catherine. This isn't good and even Alice has her doubts
about it. Catherine's here and she's not really ladylike. Catherine tries
going alpha with Alice only to realize she's not the babysitter. Alice
gets the Hell outta there. Catherine refers to Helena's children as brats.
Be happy ya said this when Winnie wasn't around, Catherine that's all
Onto....FUCK THE TUDORS!!! Anyway, onto Shane's place as we're introduced
to Deidre The Underaged Babysitter. Shane's a little worried at first
she's wearing a tie. Lovey dovey stuff between Shane and Paige and they
Tasha arrives at Alice's with flowers. Alice likes Tasha being old
fashioned. And they do some lovey dovey hoo ha. Tasha has an old poster
of Kit she's hoping to have signed.
Paige/Shane arrive early at the Planet's parking lot. Since it's early,
there's only way to fill in the time and since Dana's dead and no longer
able to ride around with Alice, it's up to Paige/Shane to give us our
car makeout stuff.
Helena and Catherine arrive at a casino. I care...
Onto the Planet as Tina and Bette talk about Jodie. Tina knows that look
in Bette's eye when it comes to infatuation and love and stuff.
"Transformation" is playing in the background. Tina didn't quite
away that Jodie was deaf, but now she knows. Well, she's certainly not
to assume. Tina doesn't know where Henry is, because Henry is clueless.
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 4
Jeez, poor Henry. Even Tina's turning against him now. Jenny The Princess
Of Darkness arrives. We go over the movie rights stuff and Bette
intervenes, asking why Jenny wouldn't just choose Tina over the others.
See, the Force can be used for both good and evil. Other agents arrive.
Bette and Tina do some rebonding.
Shane and Paige continue bumping uglies in the car. Guys, I don't think
it's early anymore! Like Alice/Dana, they, too have issues while screwing
in the car. And there's the car horn.
The agents come over to Bette/Tina's table. Alice/Tasha arrive at the
table. Angus arrives and he still doesn't know what's about to hit him.
Poor fella. Jenny gives Tina a little Hell and Bette takes up for her.
God, she's almost cool again! But what will the Tina Bashers say? One
the male agents opens his mouth about girl on girl being hot and stuff...
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 5
Can we please, for the love of God have a decent guy on this show who's
a moron? Just one? Is that too much to ask? Must everything with a penis
in this show have a serious mental detriment??? *sigh*
Dear The L Word Executive Producers,
You hate people with penises. We get it.
Back to the casino as Catherine and Helena go over strategy. Guys look
as they do semi intimate stuff.
Back to the car as the windows are foggy. Well that's one way to keep
curious away. Paige wants to spend the night with Shane. Wow, topless
everything, CBS I'm impressed.
Casino again as Helena plays some guy. That's a bad toupee, sir.
Catherine arrives and makes out with Helena and suddenly the man isn't
he's good at gambling anymore. He folds.
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 6
Grace is Max's new friend's name. She's the new intern. We're introduced
to Grace's shirt which reads, "War is terrorism with a bigger budget."
Well, that's nice. Tasha is very visibly annoyed, but maintains discipline
like a true soldier. We get happy funtime anti-war slogans. Nobody knows
that Tasha's in the Armed Forces. Kit's onstage with Angus and let the
mayhem begin! Shane/Paige finally made it inside as seen in the
background. Kit/Angus perform "Bareback." Kit, failing to maintain
discipline or professionalism snaps at the absolute worst time, just going
off on Angus. Well, Angus had it comin' to him. I wanna feel bad for him,
but he did turn away from Tina when Tina needed a babysitter...which is
what led to Hazel being around...so really Angus brought this on himself.
Why? Because he wasn't there for Tina. SUFFER!!! Kit leaves the stages
in a huff. Great comeback performance, Kit. If nothing else, it should
get her on the entertainment shows.
Kit breaks sobriety and Ivan could come in real handy right about now.
Bette tags in for Angus and Angus departs...possibly for the Land of the
Dead Marios, but I guess we'll find that out next week. Kit's highly
pissed at Bette for keeping the cheating away from Angus. Bette knows
it's like to be in Angus's shoes so I can understand, plus Bette's fear
over Kit's reaction. Kit leaves and wants Papi to take her somewhere,
because she's done with men. All the broken lesbian relationships she's
witnessed firsthand, notwithstanding...
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 7
And again, FUCK THE TUDORS! Showtime just doesn't get that we don't care
about this show and we ain't watching it! So stop pimping it!
Catherine/Helena stuff as they talk...and stuff. 'kay...
Tasha pulls up to Alice's apartment place and we get our Two Different
Worlds thing between the two lovers.
Papi takes Kit to a place with salsa music. Let the seduction begin!
dances with Kit, because I really wanna see the Token Straight Girl go
Alice's apartment as we get more arguing over the Iraq invasion stuff.
Granted if it was just about Bush needing oil, we'd just invade Canada.
They're closer and they have more. But uh...you didn't hear that from
Back to Papi seducing Kit. Papi licks Kit's chest and...I don't feel
good...Mommy make it stop!!! I'll be a good boy, I promise!!!
Onto Catherine's as they make their way to the bedroom. Helena's placed
the bed and the briefcase full of cash is played with. Catherine reaches
up Helena's dress and pulls off her underwear. Catherine quotes from the
Jerry Maguire movie and this almost loses me at hello. But since it's
Helena, I can't help but enjoy it a little, at least. Catherine slides
with money in hand under Helena's dress. That'd be a bad place to get
More seduction as Kit gets plastered.
More Alice and Tasha's Iraq Debate Special, which ends abruptly with
Into the Army of Love we go. Well what's one way to end an argument.
There's a lot of making out this week, which is a happy balance to the
Are Evil And Stupid stuff. Captain Tasha's got back... See, it's not that
Alice didn't need to stop medicating her pain with sex, it's just she
apparently needed to stop doing it with Lara.
Kit starts making out with Papi at Papi's....ah God...no...NO, MAKE IT
STOP!!! But I don't wanna go to school, Mommy!!! I wanna stay home and
bake cookies with you!!!! ARRRGGHHH!!!! Aaaaaand Kit passes out. Well
that was quick. Papi doesn't take advantage of her like that. Well good
for her. See, Papi has morality.
Morning after, as Alice and Tasha do stuff that mixes in the Iraqi debate
Wax now as Shane and Paige continue to get closer together. Shay and
choose their skateboards.
Papi's bed and they wake up. Kit has a hangover. Papi confirms that
nothing happened and Kit seems a bit unsatisfied about, "not making
motherfuckin' Chart." Priorities... I guess Papi knows what she means
the others now.
Back to Wax as we get clued in to Shane being interested in that
domesticity that she just couldn't handle with Carmen. Then again, that
was Pre-Shay. Shane's eating some watermelon. Mmmmmm, watermelon...
More Alice/Tasha stuff. They share food. See, this is the L Word footage
you show at the Klan Rally as a prank.
Showtime pimps that fucking Tudors show again as we return to Wax. Shane's
really getting into the guardianship thing. Shay then sees something and
Shane notices...Spider Sense...tingling! Shane goes outside to inspect
and...it's Shay's Dad, Gabe. And just like that, we got a problem. And
since it's Gabe and history kept in mind...
Men Are Evil And Stupid Score: 8
And that's it. I got a bad feeling about next week, but as far as this
week goes...it was entertaining. But seriously, stop with the penisphobia,
Board -- What did you think of the episode??
A big thanks to EzGirl and Howard Parr, the Season 4 Music Editor!
Visit EzGirl at www.myspace.com/ezgirlmusic
4-Got to On--Shirley Brown
5-Enough Of You Love--Jaymes Bullet
7-Rope Me In And Smoke Me--Lizzie West
10-Via Veneto --Les Baxter
11-Born Under A Bad Sign--Booker T & The MG's
13-Show Me Yours--Breithaunt Bros
14-Via Veneto --Les Baxter
15-Los Pollos--ralph geronimo/
17-Just Another Soldier--The Staple Singers
18-Little Girl--Joshua Klipp
21-Your Mangeled Heart--Gossip
of Episode 4.09, Lacey Lilting Lyrics
In episode 409, Tina and Jenny have creative differences over the development
of their movie; Alice and her friends console Phyllis's heartbroken husband;
Bette and Jodi's relationship might go to the next level if Bette can
curb her Type-A personality.
4.09, Lacey Lilting Lyrics
Tina and Jenny go on a marathon of interviews to secure the perfect director
for "Lez Girls," but get stonewalled over creative differences.
Leonard (Bruce Davison) drops in unexpectedly to Alice's apartment for
a tete a tete about Phyllis' coming out, only to find himself in Alice's
bedroom surrounded by Helena, Tasha, Papi, and Alice who try to impart
words of wisdom to ease his broken heart.
Kit breaks through Papi's wall around her heart and Papi falls hard for
Catherine increasingly takes advantage of her new golden goose, Helena,
who keeps killing at the poker tables. But Helena has yet to see her share
of the money.
Angus desperately tries to make amends with Kit, but she's not having
any of it.
Gabe (Eric Roberts) takes Shay away and once again, everything in Shane's
world is pulled out from under her feet. Alice rushes to be by Shane's
side and the two of them paint up Sunset Blvd.
Trying to get her bearings with Jodi, Bette allows her emotions to cloud
her judgement and interferes with allocating scholarships, only to learn
that she jumped the gun when Jodi tells her she wants to be monogamous.
Max gets the cold shoulder at work from his boss and colleagues.