Season 4 / Episode 12; Episode: "Long
Summary 412: Long Time Coming
Kace Evers Episode Review Of Mass Destruction
I love when Seasons end in ways that allow FanFiction writers to go wild.
Showtime Presents....a guy carrying a GW Bush "LIAR" sign.
Political statements on The L Word? No way! Bette walks down the street
and finds someone playing guitar. Wow, Me'Shell Ndgeocello gained some
weight...or whoever that is. Sounds great, though. Bette sees a sign that
gets her attention.
The Opening Theme! I'm exhausted on things to say at this point...And
LOOOOOOOOOVE!!!! Cha cha cha!
The Planet, as Tina finds Jenny and Jenny can't talk to her. Tina tells
Jenny that the meeting's been cancelled. Some guy named Lorenzo can't
there...anyway, Jenny's gonna pick up a pom.
Wax now as Shane/Paige tell stories to each other and Jared walks in.
walks out after chit chat and Paige can't stand the bustin' in on
storytime. Paige loves being with Shane in cars and at work, but now she
wants to have sex with her and sleep with her in bed. Somewhere, deep
down, Shane's yellow alert goes off (hey, it's Shane for cryin' out loud).
Shane says they should talk to Jared.
Alice's driving is interrupted by Tasha who wants to talk to her. Tasha
tries to apologize about the whole leaving for Iraq thing and invites
to her going away party. "Who's Eva Torres?" asks Alice.
Episode 309 - Lead, Follow Or Get Out Of The Way
Carmen reminisces about sneaking away with a girl named Eva Torres on
night and learnig from her the wonders of 69. I wonder now if they were
"It's Papi," answers Tasha as suspicions by Moi are confirmed
ever and ever and such. Alice is anal retentive with Tasha and tries
walking away. Tasha goes through whatever detail about preperation and
Alice wants her to find a way to get out of it. Tasha's not about to do
that, however. Alice walks away from her and Tasha's upset. Well, that
didn't go well.
Papi helps Helena move Catherine's stuff. Helena is getting tired of
people pointing out her flawed relationship. Catherine's rather
controlling and Papi is apparently known as, "Puppy," to Helena.
puts the sex over and Papi understand that part at least. Catherine's
apparently hosting the Going Away Party.
Bette and Tina walk and talk and talk and walk and go over the dinner
and Jodi leaving. Tina takes Bette's cellphone and texts Jodi on Bette's
behalf, explaining just how sorry Bette is...or something to that effect.
Bette seems annoyed, but if anyone would know Bette's shortcomings, it's
Tina. Tina hits send after getting the okay and Bette sent Jodi flowers.
Generic flowers. Bette has an idea of what she'd like to send her. Kate
drives up and Bette just wants Tina to be happy. The feeling's mutual.
Kate says hi and Bette and Tina do the friendly buh-bye kiss.
The Planet again as we get our After School Special Moment with Shane/Paige
trying to explain to Jared the nature of their relationship. Jared doesn't
like the idea of Mommy being a, "lez." I guess he read Jenny's
Anyway, he walks off and Shane does the whole heart to heart talk to smooth
things over. I'm sure Mr. Belvedere coulda handled this, no problem.
Shane wants to get a house and be like a family.
Tina introduces Kate to her office, as Kate sports her Go To Hell hat.
Tina didn't exactly tell Jenny the truth about being fired...instead she
mentioned the meeting being cancelled, which apparently it isn't. Tina
bashers take note as we'll now get 9 months of, "TINA"S LIARR
Kate asks about Bette/Tina and Kate's not gonna wait forever. Well, that's
OurChart pimp, as Bette introduces Phyllis to Joyce Fucking Wischnia...or
just Joyce Wischnia now. Joyce makes sure that Bette's not back with Tina,
who's back in the fold. Phyllis brings up Jodi and what is Bette gonna
to get her back. Joyce tells Bette she needs to bring more than just
flowers to get Jodi back. Bette walks out and Joyce talks with Phyllis.
The Meeting with Tina, Kate and other people, including Lorenzo. Jenny,
who really sucks at receiving clues, walks in with her pom. Jenny gives
Lorenzo a hug, which has to be freaky enough on its own merit. This leads
to an argument between Jenny and Tina. Jenny really doesn't care anymore
and Tina refers to Jenny as a, "cunt." I also heard that Jenny's
who, "likes to fuck girls." Sounder The Sequel pisses. Yay...
Bette's house as it's night now and Bette puts Angelica to rest. Tom
Bette on Jodi's behalf. Jodi got Bette's text message, also known as
emails now. It's cold and intense where Jodi and Tom are. Jodi's all cold
and everything and Tom, bless his heart is trying to get 'em back together.
Bette misses Jodi and she's sure Angie (Angelica) misses her, too.
Angelica can sign, "I love you," now. I learned how to do that
the Rock N' Roll Express as a kid.
The next morning (I guess) as Max lets Bette borrow a van. Shane arrives,
then Alice and they discuss Max going to San Francisco for the big change
procedure, but Max is now having second thoughts. Now, now, Max...it's
irreversible. "She's a man, baby!" Bette & Co. drive off
and that's that
for Max as he just stands there and ponders thoughts of sex changes and
bunny rabbits. Well, maybe not bunny rabbits...
Bette, Alice and Shane discuss Tasha and the Going Away Party and Iraq
we get our social commentary and, "Morally bankrupt war," which
plotlines and all that. They arrive at a building that's about to be torn
down. Bette wants the sign on top. They're about to turn into The L-Team
so they can sneak in. Too bad they couldn't use the Mission Impossible
sounding theme from Let's Do It back in Season 1. And why would Tina want
Bette back if she's trying to help her get Jodi back anyway? Bette's
reasoning, not mine. They sneak in as Bette throws guard dogs some raw
steaks. They keep going and Shane talks about places for families to move
into, which throw Bette and Alice off a bit. Alice thinks it's a pod
person pretending to be Shane. More hilarity ensues as they make it to
sign, which reads, "17 Reasons Why!" They proceed to take down
one piece at a time as Alice makes this stealing attempt a photo op. Guard
dogs look on as The L-Team take down the sign.
Resident Tumors pimp for the last damn time (thank GOD!!!) as Kit's there
now with Papi. Angus, too! Papi asks Kit about her and Angus and Kit's
trying to get herself back together. It appears Papi's given up, wishing
'em both happiness. Catherine arrives and mentions being invited to a
poker party. Helena has to be here, but Catherine disagrees. That would
be the last straw, presumably. Helena walks off and stands at the edge
Back to The L-Team and based on Shane's hat, I'm guessing she's Murdoch.
They run off with the sign, load it in the van and celebrate. That was
Jenny walks with Sounder The Sequel, becoming less likable by the step.
Jenny spots Kate, which may or may not be Jenny's Advanced State Of Being.
Jenny apologizes for her behavior and quickly makes an excuse. Kate
doesn't think this is a good time. Jenny wants to work together with Kate.
Stacy Vagina Wig arrives. Stacy's about to interview Kate for Velvet Park
magazine. Ahh, freelance, gotcha. So is Velvet Park a, "piece of
magazine like Curve? If so, will Velvet Park be throwing a party while
this is airing? Just wonderin'... How's Lindsey and who's Lindsey?
Lindsey...WAS her girlfriend? Oooooooo, they broke up! That's sad.
Lindsey was ruined, which ruined the relationship with Stacy and Jenny
refers to it as a big mistake. Kate breaks Jenny down and Stacy happily
joins in. This is quite entertaining.
Bette & Tina's house as Phyllis arrives. She arrives and Joyce refuses
work with Phyllis due to conflict of interest. The conflict in question
is...they're a couple. Bette's amused and Tina's having flashbacks to
Season 2. Joyce/Phyllis become one of the more entertaining couples ever
in just a few seconds. Bette's about to get to her taxi and Bette's going
to defer to Tina's superior judgment when it comes to getting back with
Jodi. Heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, especially given
Tina's look after Bette leaves. Somewhere, TiBetters are plannin' a riot.
I just know it.
Shane's place as she shaves her legs and Shane brushes her teeth. Moments
later we get weirdness as Shane/Paige are alone. Jared is at a sleepover
with Greg, whoever that is. Shane's looking over places for them to move
in to. Paige thinks that's great so....sex! This leads to something
rather bizzare as we have sex and getting ready for tonight and someone
fantasizing about Shane/Paige becoming a Leave It To Be Beaver type of
couple of, complete with Shay and Jared as the happy little kids. Some
things cannot be described without one just needing to see it to believe
it. This is such a thing. I'm just wondering which one's doing the
fantasizing here? No cuddling afterwards, which leaves things open ended
for Season 5.
Alice goes into Wonderland as Dana arrives, complete with product shot.
Okay...fuck this. Watch the episode and enjoy this moment yourself. I'll
say this, it's funny, especially the last lines. "You really curse
more now," says Alice before walking away. "Yeah well, you would,
replies Dana. The only positives about this are the humor value and Erin
Daniels getting a paycheck. Otherwise, it's basically...silly.
Time for the Going Away Party and Jenny was fired from her movie and
she's sitting there all alone with Sounder II. Shane's still there for
her. Tasha's walking around Pappy. But it reveals she's walking with
Papi. Papi, Pappy, Puppy...is someone gonna call her Poopy next? The girl
from the opening scene is there playing her guitar. Angus plays the
bongos, Dave Freeman style. The guitar player's name is Toshi. Okay then.
(Jacky add: the performer was Toshi
Later on in the evening, Jenny looks out at the ocean. DIVE IN! DIVE
Catherine asks Helena if she's having fun and now it's a wager from
Catherine over Shane/Paige.
We get our 6 Months From Now tease as they are now in Catherine's bedroom.
Catherine leaves for poker time and Helena doesn't exactly wish her well.
Tina and Kate walk along and Tina gets a call from Bette. Kate's smile
disappears. Bette and Tina talk and it's not gonna do Kate any good to
jealous at this point. Bette needs Tina to tell her what to say upon
giving Jodi the sign and Tina says stuff about, "never should have
go," and stuff and ends it with, "Sleep well." Bette's
worried as they
hang up. Tina walks over to Kate and....
...and Helena finds a shitload of cash and takes it. FIGHT THE POWER,
Jenny drags a raft with Sounder II to the ocean.
Tasha and unnamed friends walk together and Alice arrives.
Papi, Kit and Angus walk together and Shane and Paige are together and
they're alllll in thissss togettheerrrrr....and Sounder 2 shows up.
Jenny's disappeared, but no one seems to care, except for Shane. Just
enough to look for her.
Jenny's alone in the raft. Thanks for playing, Jenny.
Pink's "Dear Mr. President" plays, which as we all know is
romantic. Jodi's in a field going over stuff with other people for her
project and Bette arrives in her Action Tractor 3000 with the sign, all
back together again. Jodi can't help, but be impressed. Maybe Bette
learned to drive a tractor on the mean streets of Philadelphia growing
Jodi walks up to Bette and Bette doesn't really have to say anything as
they kiss. Awwwww....
Our last image of Season 4 is Alice/Tasha cuddling at the beach.
And that's Season 4!
After the curmudgeon of Season 3, all I wanted from Season 4 was
entertainment and I got it. Thanks, Ilene and everyone. Now then...for
Season 5, fix this stuff! Even if it means dragging Sarah Shahi and Lauren
Lee Smith back in, kicking and screaming. Even if it means Alice having
Dana show up as the Imaginary Friend (for Christ's sake...). And yes,
if it means getting rid of Jenny...and offering Kristanna Loken a bunch
money and a Get Over It pill.
(Jacky just can't resist to add: FEWER characters, damn it! Do NOT add
more characters--get back to the core group (minus Jenny...I just can't
anymore) and the core storylines and develop those.)
Only 9 more months (I think) 'til Season 5!
Finally, a big thanks to you for putting up with me, my typos and my
opinions. God and Jacky willing, we'll do this again next year. See ya!
Board -- What did you think of the episode??
A big thanks to EzGirl and Howard Parr, the Season 4 Music Editor!
Visit EzGirl at www.myspace.com/ezgirlmusic
2-How Long-- Toshi Reagon
3-Main Title-- BETTY
4-We've Got to Get Ourselves Together-- The Staple Singers
6-Tasha Leaves-- ezgirl
7-Helena's Note-- ezgirl
8-Drinking-- Issac Hayes
9-Gotta Get Some-- ezgirl
10- Portrait of an Artist As a Young Woman (Thank You)-- Lizzie West &
the White Buffalo
11-Max's Moment-- ezgirl
12-C'mon DJ-- Mr.Airplane Man
13-Commit a Crime-- Mr.Airplane Man
14-6 In The Morning-- Client
15-A Surreal Moment-- ezgirl
16-Tina Sighs-- ezgirl
17-Before We Begin-- Broadcast
18-How Long -- Toshi Reagon
19-Dear Mr.President-- Pink featuring Indigo Girls
END OF SEASON 4