3 / Episode 7: "Lone Star"
#307: "Lone Star"
by Pam Cole
Bette and Alice make The Chart. It's 1996 at a Los Angeles Opera. Bette
nimbly reaches underneath Alice's dress and brings her to orgasm. A woman
above them in the box seats enjoys watching them through her opera glasses.
It is the best show in the house. (Later in the episode, we learn that
this was the last time they had sex, because Bette had just met Tina and
she told Alice that she was falling in love with Tina.)
Dana's life-sized cutout gets picked up by the trash man and taken on
a ride around town. It falls out of the back of the truck and the garbage
man sticks it up on the side of the truck like a billboard.
Jenny gives Moira her second male hormone shot before she goes to New
York to meet with her new editor. Moira, already developing male characteristics
and libido, grabs Jenny and has sex with her.
Dana has her first chemo treatment, with Lara by her side. But she is
snipping at Lara more than ever. After the treatment, a new doctor gives
her and Lara the details about what to expect and Dana asks the doctor
if she is going to die. The doctor is very optimistic and tells Dana that
she has a good chance to survive.
Shane and Carmen get matching tattoos on the back of their necks. Not
sure what it is, but it looks like a chicken stick figure (little chicken?).
Cute tattoo artist! Learned a new acronym--KOD=kiss of death.
Tina takes a helicopter to Vancouver to meet with Josh on the film set.
She is dressed to kill in a low cut short black dress and black high heels.
She kisses Josh when she gets off the helicopter. They look totally cozy.
Tina flirts with Josh and they end up in the trailer making out on the
sofa, kissing and getting undressed. But Josh blows it when he starts
saying that he knew that Tina wasn't queer, that she is so not a lesbian.
This pisses Tina off and she shoves him away angrily, saying that he has
made it "impossible" for her to have sex with him. He says she
is one f-ed up woman, and she pulls a power trip on him by saying that
she's still his f-ed up boss.
Uta and Alice take a walk after Alice attends one of Uta's lectures.
They pass by a church and Alice says that God sucks because her ex-, Dana,
is 32 years old and has cancer. Uta tells Alice that she is still in love
with Dana, but Alice denies it and says she is over Dana now that she's
met Uta. She also says she threw out the life-sized cutout that was part
of her "Dana shrine," but Uta says she must get it back and
complete her "heartbreak" exorcism ritual. She tells Alice to
call her after she has done this.
Alice is now on a mission to find the life-sized cutout, which the garbage
men took away. She drives to the garbage center, but the guy says it isn't
there and that she'll probably never find it because it has gone to the
Kit prepares for an evening with the B-52s at The Planet, but Billie
isn't much help because he is hung over and doing drugs. Kit tells him
to shape up in time for the concert and they have words.
While Helena has a videoconference with her two children, Dylan walks
into her office. Helena introduces Dylan to the kids and hangs up. Dylan
has brought Helena a present (a pickle and a candy bar?) and then tries
to kiss her, but Helena resists and says that she just wants to be friends
with Dylan because she promised herself she wouldn't sleep with any more
married people. Dylan says that she's not married and that she only lives
with her boyfriend. Helena reminds her that, to lesbians, that is married.
Helena tries to end the affair but Dylan doesn't want to.
The gang (including Helena but not Tina) gathers by Bette's pool for
a cookout. Lara has baked Dana a "chemo cake" to celebrate her
first chemotherapy treatment. It is a red velvet cake, Dana's favorite,
but she refuses to eat any because she is nauseous. She yells at Lara
in front of everyone and then excuses herself to go inside. Bette follows
Dana inside, while Alice talks to Lara. Lara says that she doesn't know
how to help Dana because she keeps pushing her away, and that Dana needs
Alice because Alice is strong. Inside, Bette talks to Dana. Dana admits
that she loves Lara but that she can't stand her right now. Bette leads
Dana through a meditation to help her relax.
Here's more lesbian lingo: gold star=lesbian who has never slept with
a man. Lone star=someone who has only slept with one person in their life.
Back at their apartment, Dana falls into a depression of self-pity and
starts yelling at Lara to leave her, when Lara is only trying to be helpful.
Lara doesn't want to leave and starts to cry, but Dana insists that she
leave. (Note: Lara has never looked lovelier.)
Dana calls Alice and tells her that Lara left her, and that she can't
believe Lara abandoned her. But Alice knows better. She tells Dana that
she needs to get over herself or she won't have anybody left to call.
Dana slides even more into self-pity but Alice calls her on it and tells
her to get out of bed. She convinces Dana to come to the B-52s concert
at The Planet that night. She promises to take care of Dana.
Billie and Moira are at The Planet setting up for the B-52s concert.
They smoke some dope and start talking about Dana. We learn that Billie's
lover of 12 years died after a three-year illness, and that it was devastating
for Billie. Moira kisses Billie and ends up having sex with him using
her dildo, which she wears all the time now apparently. Is it the hormones,
Later, Kit walks into The Planet to find Billie snorting coke first thing
in the morning and yells at him. Billie leaves and is effectively fired.
We see him one last time standing outside The Planet before the B-52s
start to play. Kit motions for him to come inside, but he just blows her
a kiss and walks away.
In their bedroom, Shane and Carmen start to have hot sex but it doesn't
work out. Shane is "distracted" and tells Carmen to stop, especially
after she spies the new tattoo on Carmen's neck. Later they find a hypodermic
needle that Jenny used to give Moira the hormone shot and they confront
Moira about it. They think something is wrong with Jenny, but Moira tells
them that she has started taking male hormones and that Jenny is helping
Jenny meets her new editor (played by Eve Ensler, real-life author of
"The Vagina Monologues") in New York but it doesn't go well.
The editor wants Jenny to change her approach to the subject of "cutting"
in the book, but Jenny refuses. They argue, and Jenny leaves the editor's
office, throwing back a "f-ck you." Later, the editor agrees
with Jenny that she is not the best choice to edit the book.
Kit sets up a special area at The Planet for Dana and the gang so that
Dana won't get hurt in the crowd. Dana looks like she is enjoying the
concert. When Angus asks where Tina is, Helena says that she's in Vancouver
meeting with Josh. Bette didn't know that Tina was with Josh, and she
instantly understands why Tina went to Vancouver. She is not happy.
During the concert, Carmen, Shane, and Alice start talking about Moira
turning into Max, and Carmen goes off about transgender people and how
they take hormones, and get their tits cut off. As soon as she says this,
everyone gets quiet and Dana says she has to go. Carmen apologizes profusely,
but Dana runs out into the streets by herself. She walks the streets alone,
The episode ends with Alice pulling up to an enormous landfill to look
for Dana's cutout. As she gets out of the car, she realizes it would be
impossible to find it here. Nearby, a bulldozer pushes garbage over the
cutout, symbolically burying Dana. Alice never sees it.
Alan Cumming (Billie Blaikie)
Eve Ensler (NY Editor)
Lauren Lee Smith (Lara Perkins)
Alexandra Hedison (Dylan Moreland)
Erica Cerra (Uta)
Dedicated to the bands, Toto, Survivor and Whitesnake. Why? Because
they don't make ME feel worse!
Jahna Flower - Duet (from Lakme). The Kace Guessed It Right Flashback
sequence that starts off the episode. It's classical performance stuff
and honestly, after Season 2 I almost expect classical stuff to be accompanied
by Sharon Isbin's guitar. This is replayed later at Bette's as Bette and
Alice recall the occasion.
Tracy And The Plastics - Henrietta. At the Wax as Shane and Carmen
go for the tattoo thing.
Giant Drag - YFLMD. At the Planet as Moira/Maxxxxxxxx and Nightcrawler
chat while this plays.
And this is nice to listen to with that moderate rockin' sound. The chatting
becomes something more disturbing as our 2 sexbirds get it on. So, when
do we get the inevitable showdown between Maxxxxx and Ivan?
Toshi Reagon - Building Blues. Alice drives around looking for
Scissor Sisters - Filthy / Gorgeous. Welcome to the Planet where
tonight, LIVE it's the B-52's!!! Special guests, Metallica! Okay, that
last part's made up, but yeah that would be interesting. Everyone catches
each other up on Lara & Dana's split up. Moira's arm size is discussed
which probably wouldn't be a big deal to Dana, seeing as she's played
against Jennifer Capriati according to her
The B-52's - Pump. Performed by the B-52's themselves at the Planet
and everyone enjoys themselves until Carmen earns the "Foot In Mouth"
award for the week.
And that's the show this week! Only a few songs, but seeing the B-52's
always a plus and Giant Drag's worth checking out.
http://mancandy.com - Thursdays,
9 PM Eastern
Nowhere To Go Radio: All Women, All Day
http://ntgradio.com - Sundays, 8 PM
The Broad & Cast Network
http://bcnifm.com - Fridays and Saturdays
- 6am and 8pm Eastern
Creative Consultant ADAM RAPP
Producer ELIZABETH ZIFF
Producer AM HOMES
Co-Executive Producer ROSE TROCHE
Executive Producers ROSE LAM, ILENE CHAIKEN
Casting COREEN MAYRS, CSA & HEIKE BRANDSTATTER, CSA
Edited by LISA JANE ROBINSON
Production Designer RICARDO SPINACE
Director of Photography BOB ASCHMANN
Created by ILENE CHAIKEN, KATHY GREENBERG, MICHELE ABBOTT
Written by ELIZABETH ZIFF
Directed by FRANK PIERSON
SHO.com: Moira informs everyone she is to be called Max; Kit
gets a helping hand from Nona Hendryx; Helena takes Dana and the girls
to a basketball game; Jenny gets busy trying to throw Max a benefit party;
Tina moves out of Bette's bed; and Dana gets a new look.
TVGuide.com: Moira announces that she wants to be called Max;
Kit gets some help from singer Nona Hendryx; Helena takes Dana and the
girls to a basketball game; Jenny plans a party to benefit Max; Tina stops
sleeping with Bette; Dana tries out a new look.
TV.com: Jenny arranges a charity event to support Moira/Max,
Helena takes the girls to a surprise trip to honor Dana in her recovery,
and Carmen is still dealing with the aftermath of Shane's ex. Meanwhile,
Bette kicks Tina out of the bedroom and tries to find peace in Buddhism.
In a recording studio, Kit gets help from unexpected sources -- but is
it too much to handle?