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#307: "Lone Star" by Pam Cole Bette and Alice make The Chart. It's 1996 at a Los Angeles Opera. Bette nimbly reaches underneath Alice's dress and brings her to orgasm. A woman above them in the box seats enjoys watching them through her opera glasses. It is the best show in the house. (Later in the episode, we learn that this was the last time they had sex, because Bette had just met Tina and she told Alice that she was falling in love with Tina.) Dana's life-sized cutout gets picked up by the trash man and taken on a ride around town. It falls out of the back of the truck and the garbage man sticks it up on the side of the truck like a billboard. Jenny gives Moira her second male hormone shot before she goes to New York to meet with her new editor. Moira, already developing male characteristics and libido, grabs Jenny and has sex with her. Dana has her first chemo treatment, with Lara by her side. But she is snipping at Lara more than ever. After the treatment, a new doctor gives her and Lara the details about what to expect and Dana asks the doctor if she is going to die. The doctor is very optimistic and tells Dana that she has a good chance to survive. Shane and Carmen get matching tattoos on the back of their necks. Not sure what it is, but it looks like a chicken stick figure (little chicken?). Cute tattoo artist! Learned a new acronym--KOD=kiss of death. Tina takes a helicopter to Vancouver to meet with Josh on the film set. She is dressed to kill in a low cut short black dress and black high heels. She kisses Josh when she gets off the helicopter. They look totally cozy. Tina flirts with Josh and they end up in the trailer making out on the sofa, kissing and getting undressed. But Josh blows it when he starts saying that he knew that Tina wasn't queer, that she is so not a lesbian. This pisses Tina off and she shoves him away angrily, saying that he has made it "impossible" for her to have sex with him. He says she is one f-ed up woman, and she pulls a power trip on him by saying that she's still his f-ed up boss. Uta and Alice take a walk after Alice attends one of Uta's lectures. They pass by a church and Alice says that God sucks because her ex-, Dana, is 32 years old and has cancer. Uta tells Alice that she is still in love with Dana, but Alice denies it and says she is over Dana now that she's met Uta. She also says she threw out the life-sized cutout that was part of her "Dana shrine," but Uta says she must get it back and complete her "heartbreak" exorcism ritual. She tells Alice to call her after she has done this. Alice is now on a mission to find the life-sized cutout, which the garbage men took away. She drives to the garbage center, but the guy says it isn't there and that she'll probably never find it because it has gone to the landfill. Kit prepares for an evening with the B-52s at The Planet, but Billie isn't much help because he is hung over and doing drugs. Kit tells him to shape up in time for the concert and they have words. While Helena has a videoconference with her two children, Dylan walks into her office. Helena introduces Dylan to the kids and hangs up. Dylan has brought Helena a present (a pickle and a candy bar?) and then tries to kiss her, but Helena resists and says that she just wants to be friends with Dylan because she promised herself she wouldn't sleep with any more married people. Dylan says that she's not married and that she only lives with her boyfriend. Helena reminds her that, to lesbians, that is married. Helena tries to end the affair but Dylan doesn't want to. The gang (including Helena but not Tina) gathers by Bette's pool for a cookout. Lara has baked Dana a "chemo cake" to celebrate her first chemotherapy treatment. It is a red velvet cake, Dana's favorite, but she refuses to eat any because she is nauseous. She yells at Lara in front of everyone and then excuses herself to go inside. Bette follows Dana inside, while Alice talks to Lara. Lara says that she doesn't know how to help Dana because she keeps pushing her away, and that Dana needs Alice because Alice is strong. Inside, Bette talks to Dana. Dana admits that she loves Lara but that she can't stand her right now. Bette leads Dana through a meditation to help her relax. Here's more lesbian lingo: gold star=lesbian who has never slept with a man. Lone star=someone who has only slept with one person in their life. Back at their apartment, Dana falls into a depression of self-pity and starts yelling at Lara to leave her, when Lara is only trying to be helpful. Lara doesn't want to leave and starts to cry, but Dana insists that she leave. (Note: Lara has never looked lovelier.) Dana calls Alice and tells her that Lara left her, and that she can't believe Lara abandoned her. But Alice knows better. She tells Dana that she needs to get over herself or she won't have anybody left to call. Dana slides even more into self-pity but Alice calls her on it and tells her to get out of bed. She convinces Dana to come to the B-52s concert at The Planet that night. She promises to take care of Dana. Billie and Moira are at The Planet setting up for the B-52s concert. They smoke some dope and start talking about Dana. We learn that Billie's lover of 12 years died after a three-year illness, and that it was devastating for Billie. Moira kisses Billie and ends up having sex with him using her dildo, which she wears all the time now apparently. Is it the hormones, or what? Later, Kit walks into The Planet to find Billie snorting coke first thing in the morning and yells at him. Billie leaves and is effectively fired. We see him one last time standing outside The Planet before the B-52s start to play. Kit motions for him to come inside, but he just blows her a kiss and walks away. In their bedroom, Shane and Carmen start to have hot sex but it doesn't work out. Shane is "distracted" and tells Carmen to stop, especially after she spies the new tattoo on Carmen's neck. Later they find a hypodermic needle that Jenny used to give Moira the hormone shot and they confront Moira about it. They think something is wrong with Jenny, but Moira tells them that she has started taking male hormones and that Jenny is helping her. Jenny meets her new editor (played by Eve Ensler, real-life author of
"The Vagina Monologues") in New York but it doesn't go well.
The editor wants Jenny to change her approach to the subject of "cutting"
in the book, but Jenny refuses. They argue, and Jenny leaves the editor's
office, throwing back a "f-ck you." Later, the editor agrees
with Jenny that she is not the best choice to edit the book. During the concert, Carmen, Shane, and Alice start talking about Moira turning into Max, and Carmen goes off about transgender people and how they take hormones, and get their tits cut off. As soon as she says this, everyone gets quiet and Dana says she has to go. Carmen apologizes profusely, but Dana runs out into the streets by herself. She walks the streets alone, crying. The episode ends with Alice pulling up to an enormous landfill to look
for Dana's cutout. As she gets out of the car, she realizes it would be
impossible to find it here. Nearby, a bulldozer pushes garbage over the
cutout, symbolically burying Dana. Alice never sees it.
Alan Cumming (Billie Blaikie)
Dedicated to the bands, Toto, Survivor and Whitesnake. Why? Because they don't make ME feel worse! Jahna Flower - Duet (from Lakme). The Kace Guessed It Right Flashback sequence that starts off the episode. It's classical performance stuff and honestly, after Season 2 I almost expect classical stuff to be accompanied by Sharon Isbin's guitar. This is replayed later at Bette's as Bette and Alice recall the occasion. Tracy And The Plastics - Henrietta. At the Wax as Shane and Carmen go for the tattoo thing. Giant Drag - YFLMD. At the Planet as Moira/Maxxxxxxxx and Nightcrawler
chat while this plays. Toshi Reagon - Building Blues. Alice drives around looking for Cardboard Dana. Scissor Sisters - Filthy / Gorgeous. Welcome to the Planet where
tonight, LIVE it's the B-52's!!! Special guests, Metallica! Okay, that
last part's made up, but yeah that would be interesting. Everyone catches
each other up on Lara & Dana's split up. Moira's arm size is discussed
which probably wouldn't be a big deal to Dana, seeing as she's played
against Jennifer Capriati according to her The B-52's - Pump. Performed by the B-52's themselves at the Planet and everyone enjoys themselves until Carmen earns the "Foot In Mouth" award for the week. And that's the show this week! Only a few songs, but seeing the B-52's
is
http://mancandy.com - Thursdays, 9 PM Eastern Nowhere To Go Radio: All Women, All Day The Broad & Cast Network
Creative Consultant ADAM RAPP
SHO.com: Moira informs everyone she is to be called Max; Kit
gets a helping hand from Nona Hendryx; Helena takes Dana and the girls
to a basketball game; Jenny gets busy trying to throw Max a benefit party;
Tina moves out of Bette's bed; and Dana gets a new look. TVGuide.com: Moira announces that she wants to be called Max; Kit gets some help from singer Nona Hendryx; Helena takes Dana and the girls to a basketball game; Jenny plans a party to benefit Max; Tina stops sleeping with Bette; Dana tries out a new look. TV.com: Jenny arranges a charity event to support Moira/Max, Helena takes the girls to a surprise trip to honor Dana in her recovery, and Carmen is still dealing with the aftermath of Shane's ex. Meanwhile, Bette kicks Tina out of the bedroom and tries to find peace in Buddhism. In a recording studio, Kit gets help from unexpected sources -- but is it too much to handle?
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Season
3 / Episode 7: "Lone Star"
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