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  Season 3 / Episode 6: "Lifesize"

Written by : Adam Rapp
Directed by : Tricia Brock
Guest Stars : Click Here
Music : Click Here
Credits : Click Here
Duration : 51 mins.
Previews : Click Here

 Episode Summary

#306: "LIFESIZE"

by Pam Cole

Finally! We get the connection in the random acts. It's 1985 in New Haven, Connecticut (Yale) and it's Bette having sex with Coleman, the hunky tire mechanic. However, it's not very satisfying and they both admit they are thinking of other partners--same sex partners. Coleman and Bette are the next link in The Chart.

Shane sneaks back in the house after her night with Cherie, to find Carmen waiting for her on the sofa. Carmen immediately asks Shane if she had sex with Cherie. Shane doesn't answer. Later, the two of them are in the kitchen where Carmen continues to quiz Shane about her evening, asking "Do you love her." Shane says no. Carmen starts to soften by offering Shane pizza for breakfast, but then she gets fired up again and throws the pizza at Shane. Carmen angrily reads the dictionary definition of "monogamy" to Shane. When Shane says she'll try to be monogamous but she doesn't understand it, Carmen blasts her with a fire extinguisher. As Shane showers off the fire extinguisher goo, Carmen goes in the bathroom and Shane sweetly and sincerely apologizes from the shower. At this point, Carmen rips off her clothes and joins Shane in the shower. (A very nice sequence of scenes that tell this story. )

Bette and Tina continue their conversation about Tina's interest in men. Tina admits that she is interested in Josh. Bette is very upset because she has overheard Tina talking to Josh on the phone and realizes that Tina is flirting with Josh. Later, she tells Tina that she should explore her feelings for Josh and figure out what it means. Bette also says that she may not wait for Tina. (Still no season 3 kiss, or touch, for this couple who appear to be drifting farther and farther apart.)

Angus and Kit go all the way and have sex (great sex apparently), but Kit is still reluctant to believe that Angus is serious about her. Later Bette and Tina come home and catch them making out in the house. Tina is happy for the new heterosexual couple but Bette seems horrified and lays down "rules" like they are a couple of teenagers: no sex in front of the baby and no sex in Bette and Tina's bed (which they already did.)

Alice returns home from her night with Uta and, in celebration, tells her housekeeper to toss out the life-size cutout of Dana.

Dylan and Danny (the documentary filmmakers) visit Helena and Tina at the studio to discuss their deal. There is some problem with the contract, but Helena says it is fine, which contradicts Tina. Later Dylan tells Helena that she is with Danny and that she is straight, trying to blow off her attraction to Helena.

A distraught Helena (who is this person? I kind of like her) asks Tina's advice about falling in love with a straight woman. Tina tells her to let it go, because it almost never works out (speaking from experience). Tina then makes a revealing speech about how hard it is for straight women to fall in love with a woman and give up their idea of a relationship. She also slips and refers to herself as a straight woman. Then, Dylan interrupts them and asks to speak to Helena. But there is no speaking involved as Dylan and Helena passionately go at each other again in Helena's office.

Dana and Lara go to the hospital, where we get an up close view of the surgery experience from Dana's point of view, including one last look at Dana's breast as she marks an "x" on it to identify it as the breast to be removed. Scary. Dana goes to surgery while Lara waits alone. After surgery, the doctor refuses to tell Lara what happened because she isn't officially family, and he asks Lara to please contact Dana's parents. Lara freaks and calls Alice who totally comes through, first calling Dana's parents, then ditching another night with Uta to go to the hospital and be with Lara.

When Dana's parent's arrive at the hospital, they try to dismiss Lara by telling her to go home now that they are there to handle things. The doctor tells Dana's parents that the cancer has spread and that the surgery was more extensive than they thought it would be. When Alice arrives at the hospital, she stands up to Dana's parents saying that Lara is Dana's partner and they need to respect that. She then whisks by them and leads Lara directly into Dana's room. (GO ALICE!!!) A really moving scene with Lara, Dana, and Alice all in the hospital room together.

A publisher from Simon & Schuster shows up at The Planet to talk to Jenny about publishing her book. Billie gives Jenny a hard time for sitting down on the job to talk to the publisher but Kit tells him to back off. Jenny gets a huge money advance on the book and has a little screaming celebration at The Planet.

Later the gang goes out to The Planet to see Sleater Kinney, a popular women's group from Oregon. Moira sneaks out to ask Billie about getting hormones to begin a female-to-male transition. Billie gives Moira the phone number of someone who can help her get the hormones, and then gives her a blow job. Jenny walks in and finds them, and for some reason, doesn't freak out. She accepts Moira's explanation that Billie was just treating her like a "real guy."

Alice calls Shane on her cell phone from the hospital and tells her about Dana. Shane is at The Planet with everyone else, and they all rush to the hospital. Bette and Tina show up at the hospital too. The episode ends with everyone in Dana's hospital room, and Bette telling Dana that they love her.

 


 Guest Stars:

Alan Cumming (Billie Blaikie)
Lauren Lee Smith (Lara Perkins)
Susan Hogan (Sharon Fairbanks)
Michael Hogan (Irwin Fairbanks)
P. Lynn Johnson (Jan Martin)
Alexandra Hedison (Dylan Moreland)
Callum Keith Rennie (Danny Wilson)
Barbara Kottmeier (Young Bette)
Brendan Penny (Coleman Alt)
Pamela Diaz (Rosie)
Geoff Gustafson (Male Nurse)
Suzanne Bastien (Nurse)
Andrew Airlie (Dr. Shapiro)
Ellie Harvie (Janice)
Richard Keats (Anesthesiologist)
Janet Weiss (Herself)
Carrie Brownstein (Herself)
Corin Tucker (Herself)


 Music by kace:

Very short list of songs this week as we're storyline heavy on The L Word for "Lifesize." But what we got's good so let's review! By the way, I had a brainfart last week, referring to Dylan as Jill. It just goes to show that I have the ability to go from 0 to Duh in a matter of seconds while half asleep. I think I'm more alert this time.

I think...

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Christine. Occurs during the 1985 flashback which introduces us to a young Bette Porter. How 'bout that outfit? She's a maniac! MAAAAAAAAANIAC!!!! I like this song, but then I like Siouxsie. I think "Peek-A-Boo" is still my favorite by this group, but again this one's pretty good. And is just me or are we finally starting to get somewhere with these Love Chart
flashbacks? I should make a bold prediction and say that next week's'll be Bette to Alice in the link, but who knows for sure?

Cranky Jam - Sermonizer. At the Planet Nightcrawler is annoyed with Jenny's pace. Then really
annoyed with Jenny interrupting her work day to chat with the Jann the publisher lady. Not a bad rocker.

Othello 9 - Wrapped Up. Played feintly in the background at the Planet as Nightcrawler gives me an
idea of what Geppeto might be like had he taken a little too much of a liking to Pinnochio.

The Stars - Ageless Beauty. At the Planet as we prepare for a Sleater Kinney concert. Carmen's kind of a....jerk to Moira/Maxxxxxxxxxx. Well, that wasn't nice, Carmen. Maybe she's jealous of the attention Jenny gives her. After all, she is an ex.

Sleater Kinney - Jumpers. Performed by Sleater Kinney at the Planet as storylines unfold, from Nightcrawler going down on Moira/Maxxxxxxxx's dildo to Shane getting the bad news call from Alice about Dana. And yes, I'm friggin' bummed as ever right now about this whole thing. Love the song and it reminds me of the Organ's stuff that was played in Season 2.

Overall, short on a number of songs, but what's there is worth checking
out, especially Siouxsie and Sleater Kinney.

http://mancandy.com - Thursdays, 9 PM Eastern

Nowhere To Go Radio: All Women, All Day
http://ntgradio.com - Sundays, 8 PM Eastern

The Broad & Cast Network
http://bcnifm.com - Fridays and Saturdays - 6am and 8pm Eastern


 Production Credits

Creative Consultant ADAM RAPP
Producer ELIZABETH ZIFF
Producer AM HOMES
Co-Executive Producer ROSE TROCHE
Executive Producers ROSE LAM, ILENE CHAIKEN
Casting COREEN MAYRS, CSA & HEIKE BRANDSTATTER, CSA
Edited by ALLAN LEE
Production Designer RICARDO SPINACE
Director of Photography BOB ASCHMANN
Created by ILENE CHAIKEN, KATHY GREENBERG, MICHELE ABBOTT
Written by ADAM RAPP
Directed by TRICIA BROCK


Previews

SHO.com: Jenny injects hormones into Moira; Dana undergoes chemotherapy and lashes out at Lara; Shane and Carmen get matching tattoos; Alice frantically searches for the Dana cutout; B52s hit the stage at The Planet; Kit fires Billie; and Tina takes another step towards Josh.

TVGuide.com: Dana undergoes chemotherapy; Jenny injects Moira with hormones; Carmen and Shane get tattoos that match; Alice searches frantically for the Dana cutout she threw away; the B-52's play The Planet; Billie gets the ax from Kit; Tina pursues her attraction to Josh.

TV.com: Tina takes a business trip to Canada and has a chance to explore her feelings for the opposite sex. Dana's treatment puts a strain on her and Lara's relationship. Meanwhile, Jenny helps Moira in her transformation to Max, Carmen and Shane dedicate parts of their bodies to each other, Alice reverts back in her obsession over Dana, and Kit takes control. In a special appearance the B-52's perform at The Planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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