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#303: "LOBSTERS" by Pam Cole The random act continues building the chart from the previous episode. This time it's a busload of nuns driving at night in Oregon in 1984. One nun is reading "Lesbian Nuns: Breaking the Silence." Her seat partner notices what she is reading, and discretely reaches underneath the reader's habit and brings her to orgasm while the other nuns on the bus sleep. Shane gets invited to open a hair shop at a hip skateboard shop on Venice Beach called WAX. Helena visits the Tarot reader, again, where she learns that Tina would be a good choice to come to work with her at her new movie studio. Bette learns that the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts) is pulling the grant money for her passion project, the "Art of Dissent" exhibit, because it criticizes the Bush administration. Then she has a brief political "outburst" the likes of which we don't ever see on network or cable television in America. Go Bette! (In the words of Edward R. Murrow, "we must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.") Julia, another woman involved with the exhibit, is trying to get an opportunity to testify on a congressional sub-committee to protest the pulled funding. But all Tina can think about is how the lost funding will affect she and Bette's dwindling finances. She tells Bette that they have to let Angus go and that Bette should get real about their finances. (More distance and anger between Bette and Tina. Do these two even like each other anymore? I'm still waiting for a season 3 kiss between them.) Bette decides to sell some of her personal art collection to bring in some money. Billie and Kit have differences of opinion at The Planet, where Billie is changing the menu, rearranging the furniture, and installing wireless Internet connections-all without consulting Kit. Shane and Carmen come home to find Jenny and Moira in the driveway. While they are delighted to see Jenny, Moira makes a bad first impression with her butch personna. Carmen especially seems to dislike her, once she realizes that Moira is staying with them at the house. Shane and Carmen are puppy-sitting an adorable mixed puppy, but Jenny says she might be allergic to it. When Carmen says that it's okay because the puppy is short-haired, Moira says that people are usually more allergic to the animal's saliva and not the hair. Kit catches Angus carrying Angelica outside The Planet. Since she doesn't know who he is, she stops him and interrogates him. Once she realizes he's the "manny," she decides to call him "Mangus" and invites him into The Planet, where she begins to develop an attraction to him (and his "tight, skinny booty," as she says). Fellow musician Mangus encourages Kit to pursue her music and record a collection of her original songs, which she really wants to do, but she says she doesn't understand about the new distribution methods. Angus says he will walk her through it because his band has released two CDs. Tina has lunch with Helena and gets a tour of the new movie studio, which is called "Shaolin Film Studios." Helena (no longer the same woman who spitefully took Bette's job away from her) asks Tina if she would be interested in coming to work at the studio. Tina doesn't answer, but looks interested. Alice is still at the radio station, spouting obsession about Dana and antidepressant medications this week. Thus follows a really funny montage showing Alice and the effects that the different antidepressants have had on her. Alice's boss bursts in and tells her that if she doesn't stop talking about Dana on the radio show, she will be fired. Dana goes to see Dr. Wilson, Bette and Tina's good-looking gynecologist, and we have what amounts to the first lesbian PSA (public service announcement) to encourage lesbians to see their doctor and get a mammogram. Although Dr. Wilson is terribly reassuring about everything, she sends Dana down the hall for a mammogram. We get to see every detail of Dana's mammogram, up close and personal (and it doesn't really hurt at all!). While sitting in the hallway, waiting for the results of her mammogram, Dana overhears Alice's radio show; one of the nurses is listening to Alice and really enjoying it. The mammogram reveals a "suspicious mass" and while Dr. Wilson is again very reassuring, she decides that Dana needs a biopsy and schedules it for the next day, which isn't so reassuring. Tina catches Bette reading a book on Buddhist philosophy but when Bette tries to talk to Tina about it, Tina isn't interested. Tina tells Bette that Helena offered her a job, which upsets Bette. Tina says she questions Bette desire to get a job and support them as a family. The gang all go to a fancy restaurant to have a welcome home dinner for Jenny. Alice is uncomfortable going to dinner with Dana and Lara, and Moira is very uncomfortable with the restaurant and the company and the food. She tells a weird story about female lobsters cooking in a pot. The whole dinner is rich with innuendo and subtext and ends with Moira leaving and Bette trying to buy everyone's dinner with her over-extended credit card, which is rejected. (NOTE: Everyone looks stunning in the dinner table candlelight!) At the restaurant, Alice waits for Dana in the bathroom (their usual meeting place) and they have the kind of conversation we all wish Bette and Tina would have: honest, apologetic, a little awkward and healing. When she gets home, Tina calls Helena and accepts her job offer. Bette decides to sell her favorite print. The episode ends with Moira alone on a hilltop, looking over the bright
lights of Los Angeles. She is upset and angry and seems very isolated.
Alan Cumming
Welcome to the Lobsters Edition of Musical Fun. Frazey Ford - In My Time Of Dying. Our obligatory flashback scene with Nuns in a bus. Someone's performing the song while a couple of Nuns quietly get it on. The Dead Kennedys- California Uber Alles. The band that once made brilliant use of spelling out Mickey Mouse's name during a song arrive in L-Land with number. Plays as Shane and Carmen arrive at the Wax place with skateboards and stuff. Transientworld - Learn To Play The Blues. Helena does the Tarot thing again. Spacey music, but then it's Transientworld. Transientworld - Light Bright City. Nightcrawler enjoys Lara's food at the Planet as this plays. Kit then argues over managerial stuff. Such a micromanager, that Kit. A quick tip of the cap to Inside Pulse's Haley's Little Things file as Moira kisses Carmen on the cheek while giving Shane the manly handshake. Perception is Reality as one of my supervisors used to say. Amy Cook - A Million Holes In Heaven. The groundwork is laid for the Carmen Vs. Moira "feud" as this is played and then segues to Alice going deeper into the abyss on-air. The Von Iva's - Same Sad Song. Alice's place as Carmen discovers Cardboard Dana. Sounds good from what little I heard. Red Room - Le Paradis. The Group Of Friends meet at a really lame restaurant with really lame food. So far in the background, it's more noise with rhythm than music. Lorraine Lawson - The Rules Of The Game. We fastforward a bit to people going over their orders at the really lame restaurant. Same situation as the song before though it sounds a little more relaxing. Sinewave Todds - Journey Into Temporal Space. Moira's in the bathroom and then back into the really lame restaurant. This song plays a little louder as we get to the Lobsters Lecture that serves as the reason for this episode being titled "Lobsters." Madrid - Stereostar. The Group Of Friends discuss Moira now that Moira's gone. Well, isn't that nice. Madrid - Trafficking. We finish things up at the restaurant as Bette discovers the pain of a useless credit card. BETTY - Jesus. Plays at the end of the episode as Moira does dramatic crying. I like BETTY, so it's easy to like this song. And that's that. Break The Trend Radio Nowhere To Go Radio: All Women, All Day The Broad & Cast Network
Creative Consultant ADAM RAPP
SHO.com: While Tina and Helena attend a documentary screening, Bette leaves for Washington D.C. to speak at a Senate hearing and meets with Senator Grisham. Attempting to provide for both herself and Moira, Jenny starts waitressing at The Planet. Jenny and Moira are also invited to a party hosted by Billie Blaikie. Meanwhile, Dana plays at a tennis tournament and declares her love for Lara in front of TV cameras. TVGuide.com: Jenny is a wreck when Moira doesn't come home one night; Bette goes to Washington to speak before the Senate, where she meets a powerful lawmaker (Dana Delaney); DJ Carmen spins for Russell Simmons; Dana is interviewed by Billie Jean King at a tennis match; Kit reconsiders her decision to let Billie (Alan Cumming) run the Planet; Helena develops feelings for a straight documentarian. TV.com: Jenny freaks out after Moira disappears all night; Bette takes on Capitol Hill; Carmen spins for Russell Simmons; Billie Jean King interviews Dana at a tennis match; Kit wonders if she's made the right choice with Billie at The Planet ; and Helena falls for a documentary filmmaker.
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Season
3 / Episode 3 ; Episode: "Lobsters"
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