written by Katey

Lobsters, Episode 3.3 - Part 2

Oh well, not every scene can be funny, it is a soap opera after all. Dana and the new character, Lump, are getting a check up. To be honest I was just glad to see that trusty Dr. Wilson was doing the exam. It really comforted me to see a familiar face.. wait, what the hell am I talking about? Oh right, Dana, Dana...

I will say, however, that all of the "exam" scenes were very accurately done, and I thought it was very responsible of them to show it. They could have skipped over the whole process and just had Dana show up in a later episode with the results, but they saw it through. Well done. I also liked the fact that she was alone. Throwing another character into the mix for "support" would have only taken away from how alone a person feels at a time like that. I likey. Of course, Alice showed up but it was over the radio while Dana was waiting for the results of her mammogram. "That Dana must be a complete nit-wit."

And in true "L" fashion, we go from depressing to the party without even stopping for a costume change. Alice is finally given an ultimatum over the "Dana" show. Her producer counted the name 'Dana' 27 times in her last broadcast and has come up with a way for Alice to keep her job. I know it's sad, but our little Alice is going to be scripted. No more adlib for you, and I for one, am grateful. "You look good."

Surprise, Bette and Tina are a mess! Tina walks in and busts Bette for reading a Buddhist book and even when Bette is trying to be sweet by reading a passage that reminded her of Tina, all she got were eye-rolls and attitude. Tina takes off into the bedroom to change Angelica and screams out the news about the job offer, probably scaring the crap out of the kid in the process, and when Bette questions whether or not she's considering it, "Well, someone in this house has to make a living." OUCH! "I'm not questioning your ability; I'm questioning your desire." Double OUCH! Bette should have told her she was preparing her body for child birth. That would have shut her up.

Now, there's no easy way to break into this last part here. I walked into it flying high off the buzz Alice gave me when she blotted her lipstick on "The Dana" .. or maybe that was just the buzz from my cocktail.. in any event, I give you the dinner scene.

The "gang" throws Jenny a welcome home dinner, and all I can say is Alice was finally the least painful item on the menu. Jenny brings Moira and when she introduces her to everyone, let's just say they make little effort to be gracious and welcoming.

They're going around the table deciding what to order and cutting back to Moira, who just looks lost. She orders a salad and French fries, which literally broke my heart, and is concerned with the prices of everything while everyone else is just ordering. Alice is out of control, asking Jenny if the editor's daughter she met in therapy was also a cutter; just totally being inappropriate with her one liner's directed at Dana and Lara.

When the food hit's the table, Moira's face drops at the sight of what an expensive restaurants salad looks like, which was actually a lighter moment, considering. Its suspect as to whether or not it's even edible as she looks up to see everyone else's meals being dropped in front of them. To make matters worse, Jenny calls attention to the fact that Moira isn't eating, which prompts everyone to offer food from their plates.. .oh, god, could it get.. any.. worse? Uh, yeah, it could.

Moira feels totally out of place and chimes in with a Lobster speech that was totally great and all, but, yeah, it went right over their heads. She's had enough and excuses herself, which, I gotta tell ya, I was about to do myself. When she leaves, Jenny goes after her and everyone starts talking about Moira behind her back and how sad it is that in this day and age women feel the need to take on roles, Jenny's past depressive state must have caused her to date beneath herself; Alice makes fun of her boots and the way she walks, and then Bette takes the more mature stance of blaming Moira's geographical upbringing. Wow!

And if that's not enough fun for ya, Alice confronts Dana in the bathroom; not to attack this time, but to ask if she's happy. "Well, I'm glad at least one of us is." I know, but she's getting better, and that's the important thing. Bette tries to show off and pay for the whole dinner, but her credit card gets declined. Triple OUCH!! She tries to explain why the card probably got declined, but Tina tells her to "just stop, and put it away." Well, at least Moira only spends what's in her pocket there, hot shot.

Later, Shane and Jenny are sitting on the steps waiting for Moira to get home. Jenny's busy beating herself up over the whole thing, but Shane puts her fears to rest by reminding Jenny that Moira is a big girl who can take care of herself. Jenny says she F'd up, but Shane disagrees. Don't worry, Jenny.. we agree with you this time.

The episode ends with Moira, alone and crying in a parking lot somewhere. I guess you can judge the characters and be disappointed by their unexpected, ignorant prejudices, or you could look past all of that and see how sadly accurate the whole scene really was. I'm pretty sure they took it there for a reason.

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