Season 2/ Episode 5; "Labyrinth" Written by : Rose Troche Directed by : Guest Stars : Click Here Music : Click Here Duration : 55 m Previews : Click Here

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 Labyrinth

by Stacy Turner

Sunday, March 20 at 10pm ET/PT

The opening scene shows Mark’s friend Gomey at his job as a security officer. He gives a woman directions and then sits down and watches two people having sex in a stairwell on one of the monitors. After watching for a while he calls Mark to tell him about what he just saw.

Tina shows up at Bette’s house and Bette looks thrilled to see her. Tina tells her that she needs to stay in the guest bedroom until she can find her own place. As she walks inside she tells Bette that she has gained some weight to which Bette responds by saying that she doesn’t care. Tina takes offense to it because she thinks that Bette is being inconsiderate, but Bette tells her that she cares it’s just that she is so happy to see her.

Gomey brings the video of the people in the stairwell back to Mark’s place. He tells him that it is a high quality sex tape. Mark changes the subject and tells him that he is starting a new project. Gomey tells him that he wants to know what it’s about since he’s Marks directing partner, but Mark tells him that it’s still in the conceptual stage and he’s not ready to share it.

Shane and Jenny are walking down the street and a girl checks Jenny out. Shane gives a big smile and tells her that she just got “cruised” to which Jenny gives Shane a kiss on the check and tells her that she loves her new hair.

Tina is taking a bubble bath and Bette walks in and gives her some towels. Tina tells Bette that they need to talk about something when she gets home from work.

Mark sits in front of his camera and starts recording his idea for his new documentary. He says that he lives in a house with two lesbians, and the film will offer insight....he stops and says what he is saying is lame.

Bette is at the CAC and James walks into her office. She tells him that he can take his time on trying to get Tina a new apartment. James looks confused and Bette tells him that Tina moved back into the house temporarily. She didn’t want him to stop looking for her, but she wanted to take more time so that maybe Tina would consider staying.

Jenny and Shane walk into their house to find that Mark has set up a camera and is videotaping them. He tells them that he needs to talk with them about his new idea. He tells them that he is starting a new journal type film about himself and he asks the girls to be in it. He tells them that he is positive that he can get funded for the film and is willing to pay them money out of his own pocket for every interview they do for him. The girls tell him that they will think about it.

Alice, Dana, and Tonya are at sex shop buying items for the Bachelorette party gift bags. Tonya and Dana are messing around with an object in the background and Alice tells them that she doesn’t mind shopping alone. Tonya tells her that they want to help her. Tonya then proceeds to pick up a chocolate penis candy and simulates oral sex on it. Dana gets really embarrassed and tells her to stop. Tonya tells Alice that Dana isn’t a fan of penises but says it’s more up Alice’s alley. Alice picks up a candy that looks like a breast and tells her that she prefers that one more. Tonya and Alice get into a little verbal argument and Dana breaks it up.

Shane and Jenny decided to do the interviews for Mark. He asks the girls about lesbian sex. Shane gets really upset about something that he says and walks away. Mark tells them that he’s just trying to gain an understanding, to which Shane gives him advice and then walks away again.

Bette comes home late from work to find Tina sitting at the table working and eating. Bette tells her that she looks really good and it’s almost as if she is glowing. Tina tells Bette they need to talk but Bette interrupts her and starts talking about how awful her day was. When she finally sits back at the table Tina looks frustrated. Bette notices this and asks Tina about what she wanted to talk about, but Tina tells her that it’s nothing. Later on Tina is laying in bed and Bette knocks on the door and enters slightly. Bette tells her goodnight and apologizes for showing up late for dinner.

Alice is on her laptop at the Planet when she notices Bette standing by her. She looks over and sees Tina also and gives them a huge hug. Bette tells Alice that she’s looking for Kit and Alice points her in the direction. Tina sits down across from Alice and she asks what’s going on. She finds out that Tina has moved back in, but Bette still doesn’t know about the baby.

Bette walks into Kit’s office and finds that she is having a meeting with Benjamin Bradshaw. Kit tells her that they were going over her weekly statements and Bette would be impressed at how well she is doing. Benjamin starts telling her about his program that he offers and invites Bette to come to his advanced seminar.

Carmen is over at Shane’s house trying to figure out which songs Dana and Tonya would want at their party. They start talking about Jenny and Carmen says that she is a little weird. Shane tells her that Jenny is a writer so she’s a little strange, but she is a good person. Shane tells her that she should give Jenny a shot.

Veronica, Shane’s boss, asks her to go with her to talk with someone. Veronica refers to Shane as “Hair Girl” and it upsets Shane and she walks away. Veronica follows Shane in her Limo and pleads with her to get in the car.

Bette finds out that she was not approved to get money from the Peabody Foundation. Tina on the other hand got the highest grant awarded for the Social Justice headquarters. Tina calls Bette to see if she is ok, to which Bette starts an argument with Tina because she didn’t tell her that she applied also. As soon as Tina walks back into the office her coworker tells her that Helena Peabody is on her way over to meet Tina. When Helena arrives she asks Tina for a tour of the place.

Dana and Alice are at Dana’s condo making gift bags. They start talking about what attracted them to each other when they first met. Dana says that Alice had great breast and Alice tells Dana that she thought that she was a hottie. They both laugh and go back to making gift bags. Dana leans forward to move some bags and Alice stares at her butt. Alice tells Dana that she has a nice butt and touches it, Dana turns around and they start kissing. They wind up having sex on the floor and on a chair. We cut to see them in front of the refrigerator kissing and Alice is feeding Dana strawberries and whipped cream.

Shane goes with Veronica to try and get a woman to sign over her rights so that they can make a movie out of it. Shane talks the woman into it and Veronica is very happy with her.

As Helena is talking with some people at the Social Justice building she sees Tina and excuses herself. She asks Tina when the baby is due and Tina tells her that she is 14 weeks pregnant. Helena starts talking about her kids, and during the conversation a coworker tells Tina that Bette is waiting for her. Tina walks outside the door and finds Bette there with flowers in her hand. While Tina is talking with her, Helena steps outside and Bette gets angry. They have a little verbal exchange and Helena tells Tina that she shouldn’t be dealing with this stress in her condition, to which Bette looks confused.

Alice and Dana are sitting in a chair kissing and they hear a noise at the door. Tonya and her parents walk in to find Dana and Alice working on the gift bags. When Tonya and her mother go into the kitchen Alice pulls her hand out of one of the bags and we see that she has handcuffs on. Dana tries frantically to unlock them before anyone sees.

Jenny begins writing more of her story. As she is writing there is a knock on the door and Bette comes in looking for Shane. Jenny tells her that she’s not there and Bette asks Jenny if she knew that Tina was pregnant. Jenny tells her that she knew and Bette gets really upset. Jenny calms her down by talking with her and tells her not to give up on her relationship with Tina. A camera zooms out and we see that Mark is secretly videotaping them.

Mark seems very impressed by Gomey’s idea to place hidden cameras around the house. They decide that they are going to set up a few more.

It is the night of Dana and Tonya’s bachelorette party. Dana’s mom gives a speech and gives her blessing to them because she knows that Dana loves Tonya. As Dana gives her mom a hug she turns around and sees Alice with a very hurt look on her face. Alice turns around to leave but Shane stops her. Shane knows that they finally had sex and Alice admits to it.

Bette and Jenny enter the party together. Bette goes to find Kit, while Jenny talks with Shane. Shane tells Jenny to bring Carmen a drink and talk to her. While that is going on Dana is looking everywhere for Alice, but can’t find her.

We see Mark messing with some equipment. Gomey tells Mark that they should set up some cameras in the girls bathrooms to which Mark gets upset and tells him to have some respect. However after he says that he hits a button and we see that he has set up camera’s in the girls bedrooms and he smiles.

Alice, Shane and Bette are all talking about Tina’s pregnancy. As they are doing so Tina walks in with Helena. Bette walks over and says hello and tries to make Helena feel like she isn’t welcome there. Tina gets upset and Bette walks away.

Alice walks out of the bathroom and Tonya walks up behind her and asks her if she is ignoring them. Alice tells her that she isn’t and Tonya drags her onstage to give a toast. She gives a very heartfelt speech in which she tells Tonya that she is the luckiest woman on earth and she also tells Dana that she loves her. By the look on Dana’s face you can tell that she is hurting too.

Bette and Alice are standing up against a wall watching the women that they love dancing closely with other women. Alice asks Bette if she wants to leave, but Bette tells her that she has to do something first. She walks up onstage and gives a speech about love and forgiveness.

Shane brings a girl home and has sex with her. We see Mark watching the whole thing on a monitor in his room.

Guest Stars

Meredith McGeachie
Charles Dutton
Camryn Manheim

Music, including Scene by Scene breakdown by Kace of What the L Radio!)

Fun with Continuity: Labyrinth apparently takes place approximately 1 Month after Lynch Pin. If you're a bit of a comic geek like I am, this isn't too big a deal. But still, fun to point out. ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Wet Spots "Do You Take It?"
Alice, Dana and Tonya are in the sex shop while this mellow fun song and it's inspiring lyrics, "Do you take it in the ass?" play on. Tonya's having WAY too much fun with surrogate penises.

Quick note....if you listen carefully, as Bette enters the house during the evening, Tina's there listening to National Public Radio.

Kia Kadiri "All My People'
Playing as enter the Planet. Moderate R&B/Hip Hop stuff that I usually tend to ignore. Not the worst song in the world, but not all that endearing, either. Chances of this playing at Marna's Planet...slim.

Joystick "I Want You"
Alice and Dana, putting things in bags....the calm before the storm. It's Joystick, so it's decent if nothing else. Moderate dance song. Then it fades and the fun begins!!!

CeCe Peniston "Finally"
Alice. Dana. Action!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dana receives All World Honors for making Alice pass out in ecstacy. Dana's got skills, yo. As for the song itself, it's a great pop dance song from 1991 and one of the better dance songs overall. This scene is one of the All Time Greatest in the show's history.

Sueca "Vamos Jogar"
Helena and Tina have a chat during Helena's PR fun. Kind of a nice salsa sound and worth checking out, even if you don't exactly understand Espanol. Continues playing while Bette makes an idiot out of herself with flowers.

Quick Score Note: EZGirl's Innocent Whistling Theme as Tonya enters the house with her Mom to see Alice and Dana is absolutely priceless.

Peggy Lee sung by Coco Love Alcorn "Fever"
This song is one of the all time classics and a standard. Soft, subtle song that's been covered by so many artists over the years...even Madonna (who had a nice club dance version of it). Plays as the Bacholerette Party gets underway. This is gonna become a liberating experience for Sharon Fairbanks, by the way.

Joystick "Just For One Night"
After Sharon's speech this begins playing. Joystick's just a really fun group to listen to, especially on this show. But I'll be honest with ya. Given what's happening at the moment the songs plays, I'm too busy feeling bad for Alice.

Dirtmitts "Get On (DJ Lester Remix)"
Available in all its glory on the Season 2 Soundtrack and one of the best songs on the Soundtrack for that matter. Plays as Jenny and Bette enter. Just like the Soundtrack version, on the show "fuck" is edited out so I guess it was designed that way all along.

Mariachi Los Campos "Quiza Quiza Quiza"
At the Planet and the party. I guess this is old Mexicana or Tejano...a couple of genres I admit to not being too familiar with. Not my cup of meat, but not necessarily bad. Hey look! Tina and Helena are at the party, too! And Bette's not taking it well.

Nine "Deceptive"
Paint By Numbers Dance Song before Alice gets on stage and breaks our hearts.

Etta James "Don't Go To Strangers"
Etta's one of those classic singers who rules the world in her own way. I'm still more into "At Last!" by her, but if it's Etta, it's all good. Plays just before Bette gives her own little speech which seems to be more of a shout out to Tina.

Tricky "Moody"
Shane enters the house with an acquaintance and bump uglies in the bedroom. Mark watches this from his room, thanks to the hidden camera. What a dick. I have to say, this song and it's very upbeat and down n' dirty nature is a little different from what I'm used to as far as Closing Credits songs go. Shane of course shows that this song is good to fuck to. And that's our show!

Previews: "Lagrimas de Oro" (Gold Tears), Episode #206

Yahoo TV: Mark becomes increasingly manipulative; Dana prepares for a demonstration match; Jenny and Carmen bond; Bette tells Tina she will be involved with their child's upbringing.

SHO: Tina moves out and considers her attraction to Helena; Alice gives Dana an ultimatum but Tonya has a shock in store; Jenny and Carmen bond over a lost puppy.

TV Guide: Alice presses Dana to break up with Tonya; Kit and Benjamin hook up. Melissa Rivers has a cameo.

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