Season 2/ Episode 2; Lap Dance Written by : Ilene Chaiken Directed by : Lynne Stopkewich Guest Stars : Click Here Music : Click Here Duration : 55 m Previews : Click Here

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 Episode Summary

by Stacy Turner

Tina hires a famous lawyer to represent her in the split with Bette; Jenny has a serious heart-to-heart with Robin; Kit's purchase of The Planet is finalized.

The opening scene shows Robin walking by herself outside of a church on her wedding day. While people are gathered outside congratulating her, Robin’s bride is inside kissing another woman.
Tina goes to see a famous gay rights lawyer to talk about getting a separation from Bette. We find out that Bette was the one who paid the mortgage on the house and most of the bills were in her name. The lawyer tries to make Tina feel like Bette was too controlling and wanted all those things in her name because it gave her more power. Tina gets upset and tells her that she doesn’t want Bette’s money and she doesn’t want to go to court.

Alice and Shane are walking down the street and we find out that Alice was the one who suggested to Tina that she go see a lawyer. Shane is upset because she doesn’t think that Bette and Tina need to get a lawyer involved. Alice says that she was thinking more about Tina when she came up with the idea. They walk up to the door of the Planet and there is a sign on the door saying that it is closed until further notice.

Tina is still in the lawyer’s office discussing the separation. The lawyer tells her that she needs an attorney because Bette is in control of everything and in order to gain her autonomy she needs to deal with the situation through legal means. The lawyer brings up the fact that Bette cheated and we start to see a little bit of Tina’s anger about it. Tina ends up hiring her as her lawyer.

Since the Planet is closed Alice and Shane have to go to a different coffee shop. Shane is completely confused by the menu. Tonya and Dana walk in and Alice calls them over for help. Tonya asks Shane what she normally gets at the Planet and then orders for her. She then orders a drink for herself and Dana without asking Dana what she wants. Alice mentions that she didn’t ask Dana if that’s what she wanted. Tonya tells her that Dana always wants what she wants. Dana then wraps her arms around Tonya’s waist and Tonya kisses her cheek. You can tell that Alice is jealous by the look on her face.

Kit goes to Ivan’s garage to talk about becoming a business partner. Kit runs into one of his employees who tells her that Ivan doesn't want to talk to her. Kit tells her that she went to the apartment to look for him but he wasn’t there. The employee tells her that he is at his cabin, but doesn’t give Kit anymore information. Kit pleads with the employee to give her the address, and she eventually gives in.

Bette and James are looking at different apartments for Tina to live in. It is apparent that Bette thinks that Tina and her will eventually get back together. As they are searching Bette’s boss knocks on the door and tells her that he had just spoken with Tina’s lawyer. Bette recognizes the name of the lawyer and then figures out that Tina wants a separation.

Jenny is in a writing class. The professor goes around the room and somewhat critiques everyone’s stories that they turned in. When she gets to Jenny she gives her some disappointing feedback, saying that her story was too hubristic and full of bad puns. They then have to write a story in class and we see images pop into Jenny’s head and she begins writing. The timer goes off and Jenny keeps writing, we see the professor come up behind her she doesn’t look too happy with Jenny. Jenny puts her pen down and the professor walks away.

They are filming a music video and Carmen is walking around with a bunch of papers in her hands. She looks up and spot’s Shane standing in front of her. Shane starts to apologize to Carmen about the other night when they were at Milk. Carmen tells Shane to walk with her and the end up alone together. Shane tells her that she doesn’t want a relationship, and Carmen realizes that she only wants sex. They begin to kiss, but someone radio’s Carmen on her headset and needs here to bring them something. The kissing ends and Shane asks Carmen what she is doing later, but Carmen has to go visit her grandmother.

Kit goes to the cabin where Ivan is and he is shocked that she found him. Ivan seems really upset and doesn’t want to talk with Kit. She explains to him that it’s about becoming a business partner at the Planet. Kit and Bette have to talk with Marina’s dad the next day, and Ivan says that he’ll look over the business plans think about it.

Dana and Tonya are at home discussing why they are going to go talk with Dana’s parents. Tonya explains that they want them to take part in the wedding, and it seems to stress Dana out. Tonya walks over to her and tries comforting her. She tells Dana go get dressed and she’ll take care of everything else, which eases Dana’s nerves a bit.

Alice is straightening up her apartment when there is a knock on her door. She opens it and Bette storms in looking for Tina. Alice tells her that she’s at work, and Bette starts talking to Alice about Tina hiring a lawyer. Alice tells her that she only went for a consultation, but Bette tells her that she hired one. Alice tells her that she just thought that it would be a good idea for her to speak with a lawyer and Bette gets upset with her and tells her to stay out of her life.

Tonya and Dana are having drinks with Dana’s parents. Tonya is very complementary towards Mr. and Mrs. Fairbanks and it seems as if they really like her. When the topic of the wedding comes up both parents seem really uncomfortable with the whole situation. Tonya asks for their blessing but Dana’s dad doesn’t think that it would make a difference. Dana’s mother tells them that they are both such beautiful girls and they would have no problem finding a man. Dana gets upset and tells her that they don’t want a man. Tonya then tells a story about when she was engaged to a man and how they didn’t get married because he wanted her to follow her heart. By the end of the story they all share a group hug, and it seems as if they agree to go to the wedding.

Alice and Dana are having coffee with each other. Alice asks Dana if Tonya knows where she is right now. Dana tells her that she doesn’t know but she’s not keeping it a secret from her. Alice jokes around about how they could have met at Dana’s place, but Dana brings up the fact that they have rules. They both say that they aren’t having trouble following the rules, but it’s obvious that they are.

Jenny and Robin go to one of Robin’s friends house. There are two couples there, one couple has a baby on the way and the other has an adopted child. It seems as if Jenny becomes uncomfortable when they bring up the topic of children. They allude to the fact that Robin would make a great parent, which makes Jenny feel like Robin wants a commitment. When they get back to Jenny’s place she tells Robin that she doesn’t want to be married again anytime soon and breaks up with her. Robin is very heartbroken and leaves.

Bette goes to a Chinese food restaurant to pick up some food. When she walks in she spot’s the gang at a table. The girls are talking about strippers and we find out that Tina and Dana both have not had lap dances before. Tonya asks Dana if she wants one and Alice is shocked that Tonya is ok with that. Tonya tells Alice that Dana doesn’t want anyone else all over her. Dana just looks at Alice, almost to say “that’s not true, I want you”. Shane realizes that they are giving each other that look and it clicks in her head that something is going on between them. The girls look over and they all see Bette, including Tina. Bette walks out quickly and gets in her car. Shane runs out and tells Bette that she feels sorry for her, and Bette thanks her and leaves.

They go to the strip club and Tina seems somewhat unimpressed with it all. Tonya pulls Dana near the stage and gives Dana a dollar to put in the strippers G-string. Dana seems really uncomfortable and even looks away when she gives it to her. Tonya grabs Dana’s face and kisses her, we see Alice with an obvious look of jealousy on her face.

Alice is in the bathroom leaning against the sink deep in thought. The door opens and Dana walks in. Alice tells her that she has to get out because it’s against the rules for them to be alone together. Dana tells her that she can’t hold it so Alice tells her to go ahead. Dana squeezes behind Alice and brushes up against her back which makes Alice turn around. They both stare at each others lips and are about to kiss when Tonya opens the door. They fly apart from each other and Tonya tells her that Tina found someone to dance for her. Alice rushes out of the bathroom and Tonya pulls Dana into the stall so they can have sex.

Alice and Shane are walking through the club and Shane asks Alice what is going on between her and Dana. Alice denies anything happening between them at first, but when she realizes that Shane knows she admits that they kissed. As they are walking they see Tina who is getting a lap dance from a girl that looks a lot like Bette.

Kit and Bette are at the Planet waiting for the arrival of Marina’s father. Ivan shows up with a check for the $50,000 down payment. He tells Kit that he only wants to be her business partner, and doesn’t want to talk with her on a daily basis. Ivan leaves and Kit seems very disappointed. Later Marina’s father shows up to discuss selling the planet. We find out that it is not Marina’s dad who shows up, but Marina’s husband of 12 years. Bette and Kit are completely shocked, but he does sell the Planet to Kit.

Bette is sitting on her porch drinking a beer and Shane joins her. They talk about Tina hiring the lawyer. As they are sitting there Jenny pulls up next door and Bette invites her over for a beer. Jenny tells them that she is looking for a roommate, and Shane tells her that they should talk about moving in together.

Guest Stars

Anne Ramsay...Robin
Jane Lynch...Joyce Wischnea
Sandra Bernhard...Charlotte Birch
Kelly Lynch...Ivan
Derek De Lint...
Chris William Martin...
Meredith McGeachie...Tonya

Music (scene by scene breakdown by Kace of What the L Radio!)

Fundamental... Why?
At the Anti-Planet as Shane fumbles her way through ordering coffee. Whatever happened to plain ol' coffee?

The Organ... Brother
The most obvious placement, taking place during a music video shoot for the actual song by the actual group. Performed off and on while Shane and Carmen enjoy each other's company and discuss cookie recipes (okay I made that last part up).

Coco Love Alcorn... Un Homme Et Un Femme
Played lightly in the background during the Bizarro World scene between the Fairbanks Family and Tonya.

Schumann... From Foriegn Lands
Also played lightly in the background during the Bizarro World scene between the Fairbanks Family and Tonya right after Coco.

Fundamental... Formatt Flute
At the Anti-Planet or whatever it's called, featuring Tina in her Action Poncho.

Betty... Limboland
Back to the Anti-Planet where Alice and Dana violate one of their Rules of Unattraction, being alone at a table.

Dan Zanes... Hop Up Ladies
During the get-together at Robin's.

Silk Road... Music Endless
The Group of Friends...and Tonya...having dinner at the restaurant.

Rick Threat... Heathcha
And we venture into the Lap Dance bar.

Rick Threat... She's Mine
Later on at the same establishment.

Martina Topley-Bird... IIya
More fun at Club Lap Dance as Alice fesses up to Shane about Dana, but hey....Shane's a "freak" and Tina's getting a Lap Dance. Kinda explains the episode title a lot more, doesn't it?

Erin McKeown... How To Be A Lady
Bette, Shane and Jenny talk on the Front Porch and we roll to the closing credits.

Previews

Loneliest Number
Sunday, March 6 at 10pm ET/PT

SHO: Kit preps The Planet for its grand reopening while Jenny meets her new roommate Shane's love interest. Bette's emotional tailspin continues.
Yahoo TV: Jenny moves in with Shane; Dana questions Tonya's motives; Tina discovers an e-mail from Candace.
TV Guide: Rejected from Charlotte Birch's writing class, Jenny is determined to win over the intimidating professor; Bette has a car accident; Dana and Alice continue to hide their attraction from their friends; and Kit struggles to find an opening act for the club.

Guest stars: Sandra Bernhard, Jane Lynch

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