Season II Recap by Katey

PART 2

He and his friend “Gomey” proceed to plant hidden cameras all over the house so they can sit back and watch the drama unfold, which is exactly what they get as Carmen falls more and more in love with Shane, but at the same time is conflicted by a weird loyalty to Jenny.   This back and forth goes on exhaustingly for about 5 episodes until Jenny snoops around Marks room and stumbles across a tape marked “Love Confession,” or something equally as clever.  The tape, of course, turns out to be the one where Carmen is trying to convince Shane that they were meant to be together, blah, blah, blah.   A Jenny/Mark confrontation soon follows, but not before Jenny gets to make a profound, feminist statement, a la Sharpie! 

Jenny doesn’t want say anything about the camera’s until the girls get back from the Olivia Cruise.  She’s sweet.   They walk in from their trip and find Mark, still in the process of taking them down.  Carmen and Shane appear confused as Mark starts spilling the beans and Jenny walks off toward her bedroom because, well, she was probably bored.  Carmen gives Mark an anemic smack, and Shane really belts him one.  Roll credits.

From this moment on, Jenny pretty much starts to lose what mind she had left.  She’s been writing a story about a sadistic carnival, but later we find out that the little girl in the story is in fact her, and she’s been suffering from recurring nightmares about a rape she endured as a child.  In other words, good times all around for Jenny.

She starts stripping because it puts her in a position of power over the men who watch, and that’s her way of working things out.   She hops on a bus in one scene where she sits down next to a little girl and out of no where starts hugging her.  Now, if I were on that bus, this is where I reach into my pocket and hit 911 on my cell. 

Angelica has kicked and screamed her way into the world at this point and as Shane, who is back with Carmen by the way, is getting ready to head over to the hospital, she hears Jenny crying in the bathroom.  When she opens the door to see what’s up, Jenny is sitting on the floor holding a razor over her bloody legs.  Folks, we have ourselves a cutter!  If I were in that bathroom, this is where I reach into my pocket and hit 911 on my cell.  Do you see a recurring theme here?

I don’t know about you but I need an orange or something after that because their storylines exhausted the hell out of me. 

Alice, Dana and Tonya

And, we’re off.   We spend the beginning of the season watching these two awkwardly hide their attraction for one another, but much like Tina’s pregnancy it proves to be an impossible task.   Tonya is still in the picture but one can only assume that the Dana/Tonya relationship was played for laughs anyway, so, at the end of the day, we really don’t feel all that bad for Tonya.

Alice begins pressuring Dana into breaking it off with Tonya so she can have the “lezzy tennis player” all to herself but Dana seems content with having Alice as her “back door girl.”   At least until her big, celebrity tennis match is over because it was, after all, Tonya who put that deal together for her in the first place.  Sounds like a solid reason to stay with somebody you’re really not in love with.

Alice and Shane show up at the tennis match where Alice gives Dana a script to follow for when she finally does the deed.  Dana thinks that’s tacky and opts to adlib the devastating blow but gets blindsided when she finds out that Tonya is leaving her for Melissa Rivers.  Melissa Rivers, Melissa Rivers, Meli…ya know, no matter how many times I type it, it just never looks right to me.  Oh well…

Anyway, with Tonya gone I guess they were running out of things to do so Alice decides to up the ante by asking Dana to do something “special” for her.  Dana is of course reluctant, but after a little persuasion decides to go along with it.  She surprises Alice after making a disguised trip back to the toy store and that’s when the sparks fly.  Well, not really.  Now that Alice has found all of her favorite qualities in one person, she’s going to hang on to that bumper until it falls off.  Yes, our Alice has become a little too clingy.  I know, believe me, it hurts just to type it.

They gave us great scenes throughout, a make out session in the bathroom of the Planet; a hysterical trip to the toy store where they look at…toys?   The role playing and having their nipple clamps confiscated at the airport were indeed some of my favorites, and then of course, there was the “Finally” scene.  God knows I could stay here all day and reminisce about that one, but…
 

Ivan, Kit, Bette and Melvin

Ivan and Kit start out together, I think, maybe not.  Truth be told, I don’t know what they were doing with each other, but, I do know it would have been nice to see played out.  He gives her the keys to his apartment and tells her that she can stop by anytime.  I guess Ivan didn’t take into account that when you give your keys to people, they sometimes use them.  Kit walks in to find Ivan binding his breasts or something, which sends Ivan into a mini panic attack where he then tells Kit that it’s over, Johnny.  Kit, who still needs the money to buy the Planet, is all, “Hey don’t sweat it, I didn’t see anything, it’s cool.”  But Ivan isn’t buying it.

Of course, he shows up on his hog and saves the day at the last minute.  He gives her the money and becomes a silent partner at the Planet.   We don’t see him again until Kit goes looking for a shoulder to cry on, but at that point we learn that Ivan has a whole other life he neglected to mention.  Bye, Ivan.

Kit, looking for inspiration, starts going to these weird T.O.E. meetings where she meets Benjamin, who she then starts having an affair with.  He’s married and you’re left wondering what the hell Kit is doing with him until you realize that Melvin is in town. 

Melvin takes a liking to Kit’s “new life,” as the owner of a successful business and it doesn’t hurt that she’s also dating a successful man.  Where it seems as though she finally has “Daddy’s” approval, it’s Bette who now finds herself on the receiving end of Melvin’s discontent.   You just can’t please the guy.

When Bette finally takes a stand and starts demanding her father’s respect and acceptance, we find out Melvin’s gravely ill.  Bummer!  They move him into Bette’s house where she and Kit take turns caring for him.  The job is indeed a big one as Melvin needs 24 hour care so Bette’s career has taken the back burner. 

Melvin’s illness is rapidly progressing and when Tina comes over to lend her support, he mistakes her for Bette’s mother in his delirium.  The moment could have been very sweet, but they just have to make us suffer, don’t they?   Tina ends up spending the night and when she goes to leave in the morning, Melvin calls her “Tina” as opposed to “Miss Kennard,” and we’re supposed to assume he’s finally accepted her as Bette’s life partner.  He’s “old school,” don’t go expecting a cartwheel and a parade.  Kit finally has her say and Melvin leaves her with some words of encouragement.  In a very touching finale scene, we see Melvin pass away while looking over at a picture of Bette and Tina…I think.

Don’t worry; in true L fashion he’s given a proper, cameo filled memorial service, along with a respectful montage of the young Ossie Davis.  Gloria Steinem is on hand along with the band, Betty.  If nothing else that Melvin sure did get around. 

Long winded, you bet, and those were just the highlights.  This concludes The L Word, Season II recap. 

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